Gen X Reader (Tenkai Knights)

Why Do You Love Me?

WARNING: Mentions of suicide, self-harm, depression, etc. If you are uncomfortable or sensitive to any of this, then please don't read.
Thank you.

Y/N's POV

Why does love exist?

Why do people love?

Who knows.

All I know is that I've been broken.

I loved him. He was my boyfriend and he meant everything to me.

Then I began to have dreams of him.

He was always there, but he was faceless.

Where his face should've been, it was just blackness.

What was once strange dreams, turned into nightmares.

He was faceless.

And he died and died and died and died.

It didn't matter how, he just kept dying.

Every night was a different death.

And then, the worst day of my life happened.

He could've hurt me any other way.

He could've cheated on me. He could've broken up with me.

At least I would know that he's still living in our atmosphere.

But no.

He had to die in front of my eyes.

He was only 16 when he died.

He killed himself.

I was devasted for so long.

I always found myself asking, why?

Was it my fault? Was I not good enough?

About nearly 2 years passed.

I told myself that I was over him, and I was.

But it continued to haunt me.

It ruined my life.

The nightmares rarely came, but I became depressed, and I had frequent panic attacks and mental breakdowns, and once attempted suicide.

All I wanted was for the pain to just stop.

***

I was getting ready for school like any other day.

A guy that I had met at school a year ago texted me, saying he was gonna be in the library.

So I decided to leave early so we could hang before school actually started.

Soon, I arrived to school half an hour early, and I started walking towards the library.

Gen Kurai. He was kinda my only friend.

Well, the only one that I actually hung out with anymore.

I had girl friends that I was sort of close with, but I got along with Gen the most.

He liked music. And drawing.

He was extremely good at drawing.

He especially liked reading, hence why he texted me to come to the library, for probably the 10th time this year.

Once I arrived, I immediately see Gen sitting at a table; book in hand.

He notices me and smiles a very small, rare smile, then waves slightly.