UPCHUCK

~~~~~this is my first time showing any of my stories to anyone. this takes a lot of courage for me because some of them are experiences. some are fiction added to things I've seen or heard. don't judge too harshly i don't have spell check on my "word pad". this is really intense so..whew here goes nothing! hope you guys like it. Fan it! love it! Comment! 

thanks xoxo

Chapter 1

"i don't understand why you just don't go out and get fresh air Janie" that's my adoptive mother talking to me while she scrubs her hands red under the faucet.

yeah, and i need the fresh air. 

"i don't like the sun" and its true i don't. i rather not get my already tan skin any tanner. the paler the better. 

she shakes her head vigorously still scrubbing away at her skin. 

I was adopted when i was a baby, the story goes that my real mother left me at firefighter safe place to drop off babies and then i was in a foster home for a day or two before i landed in the care of my adopted parents Cindy A. Lowell and David Lowell. David a hard working business man works as a real estate agent in the hills of California while Cindy after finding out about her lack of not being able to have kids became a full time mother to me, Janie Beatrice Lowell.

i went to my room leaving my mom to her OCD. I played my music on loud and laid on my bed slowly drifting away from the world slipping into a universe where i didn't exist where my mind and soul just floated. I often wished i didn't exist i think of times where maybe things like 9/11 wouldn't have happened if i wasn't born or last week at the pharmacy, that lady would have had enough money to pay for her medication if i was never conceived. its a little ridiculous but i still cant help to think of the possibilities of a world without me. It sounds so much better honestly. 

just as i was falling asleep my mother walks in. 

"we are going to the market i am not letting you be cooped up in your room all summer. so hurry put on some shoes. ill meet you in the car."

Great.Markets. I love me some fresh produce. 

i grabbed my worn out sneakers, a big sweatshirt and headed for the door into our suburban car slamming the door letting her now i am not pleased about this arrangement. 

"you know Janie youre such a serious girl i worry that youre not getting a full experience as a teenager.."

"I'm 17 i don't need to go out and drink and party and act belligerent."

"that's not what I'm saying, I'm trying to say you don't bring any friends around and your always reading--" she pauses to sigh "you just seem so lonely and you hardly eat Janie your so skinny its scares me"

I roll my eyes here it goes.. 

"I'm fine mom I honestly like to be on my own"

shes pulls the car out of the parking lot and drives down the street giving me side way glances at every stop sign and light.  

We finally reach Whole Foods Market after what seemed like the most awkward ride of my life. I slowly get out tugging at my sweater wishing it covered me from head to toe. I pull the hood up as we walk in a blast of air pushes it off my head. My mom goes and grabs a cart and i take over on driving it while she gets lost in the all the fruits and veggies. i rest my upper body on the cart and i feel like its screeching cause the weight of my lard is too much for it to handle. 

I don't blame it.

I give a big sigh and soon regret it because it gives my mom a reason to ask me if im okay