It all happened when I was fourteen. I hadnt really experienced life at the stage but I already knew I wanted to end it.
As I got home from school one thursday evening I was thinking about the week that had just happened, I lost a fair few mates that week and I lost one of the closest people to me, my sister Faith. Through out my life I have been bullied, physically and verbally. But today, thurday the 11th of september it all got to much. I decided that tonight was the night, the night that all the pain and suffering would end.
I told my boyfriend I loved him and how much he ment to me, and i wrote my family a letter. I cant even begin telling you how many times i had written that letter over and over again.
This is the letter,
Dear mum and dad,
I thankyou very much for the life you have given me, i've had many oppitunitys to become a better person but I have passed all the offers up.
I never really told you how much pain I was in, but its not like you would of understood anyway. You always told me to "get over it" or "snap out of it and smile" or the worst of all "you dont have depression your just faking it". I remember the last one the most. I remember sitting at the table after dinner one night and telling you everying, how I was clinicly diagnosed with servre depression and that I was suicidal.
Hopefully now after reading this letter you will have realised that NO I wasnt just faking it, NO I couldnt just snap out of it and most of all NO you telling all your "mates" at work about my "problems" doesnt help anything at all.
T'was lovely meeting both you people I hope you understand the life I was living.
Love your darling daughter,
Sophie
I grabbed the pills and blades and just as I was about to take the pills for the last time I got a call from Ryan(my boyfriend), He had read the message and was worried. He told me how much he loved me and how much he cared for me. He talked to me for three hours straight to calm me down and get me out of my "mood".
If it wasnt for ryan I wouldnt still be here six years later.
Im also proud to annouce that Ryan and I are getting married in three months! Yay!
