Habit || huening kai

Habit 1

Habit 1

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Habit #1 - Calling his name

I stared at my phone as I wait for him to call me. It's been a week since we last time talked and it's all because of a small argument.

It's my fault, though. I kept calling at him to the point that I got to his nerves. I already apologized, but he told me that he needed space instead.

I don't know what does it mean. Me, giving him space so that he can breath or us, breaking up. I don't want the second one so I assume that he wants the first one, instead.

I wait for him for another 15 minutes, but still, there's no call. So, I stand up and went in the kitchen to prepare some food for myself.

While I'm cooking ramen, I glanced at the clock on the wall.

11:30

I remembered that he's suppose to eat at this time.

"Kai! Come in here, I prepared ramen for —"

Then, it hit me: he's not here.

I'm already used at calling his name that it already became my habit. Even though he's not here, just like what happened awhile ago, I'm still calling his name.

I don't know why I'm still calling his name, minus the fact that it became a habit of mine. I already know he's not here, beside me. Yet, here I am, calling his name like a fool, waiting for him to come by my side just like the old times.

I shook my head, trying to remove him out of my head for a mean time.

After I cooked the ramen, I went at the living room again. I turned on the t.v.. I got bored by just switching the channel, trying to find a good show to watch. So, I decided that I should just watch a movie. But then, I'm not good at picking a movie, since it's always Kai who's picking.

"Kai, what movie should we—"

I looked at my left, and there's no Kai.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to remind myself that he's not here. I reminded myself that I should relax first and try to not call his name.

But, it's hard, though. I want to go back to the time wherein he'll always by my side whenever I'm calling his name.

Maybe, that's the reason why it became my habit: he's always there when I'm calling him. I got used to it that I'm doing it everytime.

I shook my head, again, and looked at the t.v. again to pick a movie to watch. When I already chose a movie, I adjust myself comfortably in the couch and watch quietly.

After I ate the ramen, I looked at the table to see if I got a water. But, there's no water.

"Kai, could I have a favor to ask —"

And, again, there's no Kai beside me.

I'm starting to get annoyed of myself. Why can't I just stop my habit of calling his name?! I think I already know what Kai is feeling.

The annoyance of his name being  called by me everytime, everyday.

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English is not my first language, so bear with me. And, also, short chapters.