Bittersweet

Chapter Two: Missin' The Old Days

JUDD

"Judd," nang marinig ko ang pangalan ko agad kong tinakip ang mukha ko ng kumot.

"Hoy!"

May nararamdam akong talsik ng tubig sa mukha ko pero pinunasan ko ito. I turned around and fully covered my face with a pillow. Nakakabwisit na kasi eh, may panira ng tulog. "Landon, give me 5 minutes." I answered back.

"Gumising ka nga! Sabi mo gisingin ka namin, tulog mantika ka din lang pala." Narinig kong sinira niya ang pintuan. Finally, a moment of silence. I could sleep peacefully already. I was about to take a deep nap again but there was this feeling na may nakatingin sakin. May naririnig kasi akong mga hininga na di gaano malakas pero naririnig ko.

"Kuya! Gisingin mo nga!" pabulong na sabi ni Hale.

"Pass." tugon lamang ni Loki.

"But—"

"Cut it off Hale, are you blind? Puyat yan kakaiyak kay Landon."

Ewan ko ba, pero nung narinig ko yung pangalan ni Landon naganahan na akong makinig sa pinag-uusapan nila. I was half asleep at this moment. I wanted to sleep more, but I fought it. "Isn't 4 years enough for him to realize that she left her? Letting go is an easy process."

There was a moment of silence, "If you had a girl and she left. You think letting go is easy? Sa tingin mo ganun kadali mag move on?" Loki asked him, he didn't answer him back.

Moving on takes time while the process is always a hard one.

"Kourkinah's damn stupid tho. If she wanted to left kuya, she should have said. Hindi yung ganun. Yung 'di niya sinasagot or rinereplayan si kuya. That's why I hate her. Kuya has been experiencing too much pain already. He deserves someone better. May worth din si Kuya."

Did he just cuss? He cussed about Landon. "Hala! Gising na yung lalaki sa kadiliman." I looked at Hale for a second and frowned at Loki.

"Tara na! Magagalit nanaman yan!" ika ni Loki na nasa tabi ng pintuan. Tumakbo agad siya palabas sa kwarto habang ako naman kinukuha yung unan para itapon sakanila. Itatapon ko na sana pero alaws eh naunahan ako. Umagang umaga, nasisira yung araw ko dahil lang sa sinabi niya. He cussed about her, that ain't good.

Kung pwede lang talaga na nabingi ako, okay na ako dun. Pero siguro kahit itatakip ko yung tenga ko, maririnig ko pa din. Masasaktan pa din ako. Okay lang, sanay naman na ako. It's okay to talk about her, but cursing her? I wont let that pass. We may have a past, a shit I cant accept, but I still respect her.

Going back sa sinabi nila, napatakip agad ako sa mukha ko.

". . . that's why I hate her. Kuya has been experiencing too much pain already."

They were always there for me. They were always concerned about me. They were always there at my worst. They were the best sibling I've ever had. Yet hurting and insulting words about Kourkinah were the only thing that I've gave attention too. Ang sama kong tao. I was too blind to see their value and importance.

Napaisip muli ako sa sinabi ni Hale, May punto nga naman siya, I've been experiencing too much pain already. I should also learn to start loving myself. Maybe, I should start letting go also. I really need my happiness back. Frankly, this is the only way to forget her—letting go.

Masakit pero kakayanin.

". . . he deserves someone better. May worth din si Kuya."

Natauhan ako sa mga sinabi ni Hale. It's my first time seeing him showing the concern on me. Minsan nga, lagi niya ako inaasar at lagi din kami nag aaway dahil kinukuha niya na lang ng basta basta mga damit ko ng walang paalam. Ngunit tama nga siya, may worth din ako. Hindi ko na dapat kinakailangan maghabol. I deserve someone better who would appreciate my worth.