The Only Reason (Muke)

Chapter 1

Luke's POV

As we started playing the last song for the night and look over and see Michael singing his part.

I've been having these feelings towards this boy, I haven't noticed until now how much I love his voice, his smile, how the vein in his neck pops out when he's performing, how his pink lips move when he speaks, how his eyes sparkle when he's playing the guitar and meets fans, his sense of humor and how he can make anyone smile, the way he smells, the scent I breath in when we cuddle, how we can talk for hours about everything and anything without stopping, his beautiful cherry lips and pale skin. He's just.. perfect.

I admit it. I like.. no.no. I don't like, correction, I Love Michael Gordon Clifford.

It's my turn to sing but I just can't stop looking at the beautiful creature beside me so Instead Calum sings for me.

"Hey, Hey Luke, something wrong mate?" Michael approaches me and asks with furrowed eyebrows.

"I'm fine," I say and a small smile creeps on my face, but soon fades because I know Michael is straight, and even if he was bi, or gay, who would ever date me? I'm no one, I'm nothing,and I definitely don't deserve Michael.

With that song being the last one the show soon is over and I snap back to reality and hear Calum thanking the fans and saying goodnight getting off the stage with Ashton and Michael joking behind him and soon I am making myself walk over to them.

When I reach them I just start daydreaming about how life would be if I wan't so broken and I look up as I hear them talking to me for God knows how long suddenly snapping back into reality.

"Luke? Luke?" Calum shakes me slightly with concern.

"Where's Michael?" I ask and they just shrug so I start looking for him, running down the hallway, leaving worried Ashton and Calum behind.

When I run around the corner I bump into the person I've been wanting to talk to, to see, to lose myself in his white hair.

"Luke? What's-" I cute him off by wrapping my arms around him, I can't manage to say anything, I just bury myself into his arms.

He takes me to a room where we sit only the lonely couch, his protective arms around my body, I've always felt safe with Michael no matter what, even if he's  shorter than me.

I look up and see I see his face filled with sadness, no sparkle in his eyes, just dull.

I immediately feel angry but not at him, only at myself, ever since I told him about me, me self-harming,my scars, my past, my problems, he hasn't been quite happy, he's worried about me and I'm worried about him, how every week he wears more bracelets, and often drowns in his own thoughts, when I ask him if something is wrong he says he's fine but I know he's not and it hurts even more knowing I'm just giving him more problems

I often look back at the day I told him, yes our friendship got stronger but he's now further away.

Flash back ~

It was a cold morning and as soon as I woke up I looked around and see that all of the boys are asleep. I take this opportunity and quickly grab the small box hidden between my clothes and run over to the restroom trying not to make too much noise.

 I softly closed the door and locked it, I quickly removed all of my bracelets, opening the box and pulling out my sharp little enemy just inspecting it and turning it over and over. Looking at myself in the mirror I don't look alive, all energy drained from me and messy hair, I look down at my scarred arm and without thinking twice I sliced my skin with the small razor in my hand, again, again, and again, frustrated for not feeling physical pain just emotional pain, I just want to feel loved. Seeing the mess I made I dropped the stupid metal one the little box and washed my arm, put band aids over the open cuts, put my bracelets back on, simple right? I shouldn't be used to this but sadly I am. 

Holding tears back and pulling my hoodie over my head I looked at my reflection once again, so ugly I thought, I looked down before running out of the restroom with the small box in my hand and bumped into someone. It was Michael. He saw the box that I was holding so tightly with furrowed eyebrows, then looked at me in the eyes and he just hugged me. He knew I wasn't okay, and Enough was enough, enough holding back tears, my past. I just let myself cry in his arms, with his hand softly caressing my back he guided me into his room and his voice soothed me, it was time to tell him,my past"