Fizz ❤

Fizzy

On 13th March 2019, Felicite Grace Tomlinson passed in her West London studio due to a cardiac arrest. For many people, she was just a singer's sister, a social media influencer or their idol's sister. I thought she was the same to me too. Until I realized it, literally an hour and half ago. ( look at me writing a book about it in less than two hours)

I first got to know about Fizzy two years ago upon Jay's death. I didn't know much about her. When I made my instagram page, about a year ago, I decided to follow her. The same goes with Twitter.  I first didn't pay attention to her posts or tweets. But a couple months later, and I still don't know how, it become a routine for me to check her page for posts or stories pretty much every time I touched my phone.

Skip a few months and to the night of 12th March 2019. I had decided to go to bed early because I had school the next day and my vehicle had a puncture so I had to leave early with my mother. Checking my phone one last time and answering a few takes was like a staple diet to me. I had a this really bad feeling in my chest since morning and due to my already unstable condition due to the seasonal changes, my mother and I went on a late night drive.I got back and decided to lay down for a while but eventually I fell asleep.

Next morning, today morning, I woke up, got ready, and left for school. It was only a 2 hour lecture so I got back home by 10:00. After tidying my room for a bit, I decided to freshen up while texting my friend. Sitting on the toilet seat, going through Amino, and there I see it. R.I.P. Fizzy. I didn't understand what was going on so I asked my friend, checked the news and found out. "Felicite Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson's sister and a social media influencer found dead in her studio apartment."

I didn't understand anything thought was going around me it was almost as if, as if the start of a panic attack. I'm a very emotion deficient person. After my grandma's death, I pretty much became the person I am so it takes time for me to realize what's going on. I let it sink into me. After lunch at one and paying my condolences to the Tomlinson family WITHOUT tagging them, I sat on my bed and reflected. I discovered how much of a toll was her death to everyone, family and friends likewise. I discovered what she meant to me.

Fizzy changed me even without me realizing it. Without knowing, I went from I-wouldn't-care-even-if-I-died to i-want-to-live-for-her. I will make everyday count because that's what she taught me. I will stay strong, just like her. I will love my family as much as she does. I will try to inspire people just like she did. I will live on. For her.

I know that you won't be reading this but, I miss you Fizz. I know this isn't your fault, I know you didn't see this coming. I just want you to know, even though we can't reach out, all of us will try our best to protect all your siblings. I swear I will never let anyone hurt any of them. I will pray for Ernie and Dory every time I visit the temple. I will always keep you in my heart. I will never forget you. I hope as the angel you are, you have a happy stay in heaven right by your mother. I love you Felicite.

-J