Kiss It Better

Part 3: Photograph ~ Chapter 9 (June 2022)

Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes but it's the only thing that I know. When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes, it is the only thing that makes us feel alive.

We keep this love in a photograph. We made these memories for ourselves. Where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken, and time's forever frozen still. So you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans, holding me closer 'til our eyes meet. You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home.

Tears fell down Rose's cheeks as she sat in her new cell. Michael just dropped her off and said he'd be back tomorrow with some of their stuff.

She looked around her cell, at her new home. She stared at the blank, empty walls, a constant reminder of how she's felt since that day. It felt like someone had taken hold of her heart and was wringing it dry. Like someone was playing God and had the ability to strip her of all of her happiness and rip it to shreds, piece by piece, moment by moment.

At this point, all Rose could do was cry. She hadn't felt this way since before she met Luisa and she hated it. She hated feeling empty, broken, and completely alone. That's what she was. Alone. She had no one on her side. Everyone she loved was gone. Her parents, her wife, her daughter, everyone.

Rose pictured Luisa, all happy and smiling when they picked Mia's name. She loved the way her eyes creased and the angelic sound of her laughter. She loved the way she said her name and gave her a little kiss every night before they fell asleep. She loved the way Luisa made her feel like the happiest and luckiest person in the world. She loved the way Luisa got so excited when they talked about having a kid. But most importantly, she loved the way her Lu made her a better person.

Tears streamed down Rose's face as she twiddled her thumbs, unsure of what to do without her best friend at her side. All she wanted was for Luisa to hold her hands, hug her, and tell her everything was going to be okay because it would be if she was there. Everything was always okay — no, it was more than okay, way more — whenever she was there.

"Why, Lu?" Rose asked herself, not expecting an answer back. "Why did you and Mia have to leave me?"

~~~~~

The court had mandated therapy for Rose. She'd been seeing her therapist, Dr. Darci Factor, three hours a week for two months now and refused to talk. When the guard brought her there, she plopped down into the chair and stared at Dr. Factor, as always.

After about five minutes of silence, Dr. Factor spoke. "You know, Miss Ruvelle, the court has mandated you three hours of therapy a week, subject to change upon improvement. I know you don't like these therapy sessions, but if you talk to me and show me that you're stable, we won't have to see each other as often."

"I don't want to talk about it." Rose snapped.

"Why not?"

"Because it will just remind me about how it's my fault that they died." Rose said angrily.

"Why do you think that?" Dr. Factor asked, scribbling something on her notepad.

"It had to do with my past. They were coming to kill me, not Lu and Mia."

"How do you know that?"

"When Luisa asked why th-" Rose paused and looked at her. "No, I know what you're doing. It's not gonna work."

"And what exactly am I doing?"

"You're getting me to talk by pretending that you care. But in reality, you're just trying to find out about what illegal activities I've been involved in so you can put me away for longer, even though I'm already going to be here until I'm dead."

"Well, if you're going to be here until you're dead, why does it matter if we know?"

"I know Lu is watching down on me. I don't want her knowing about it."

"If she's watching down on you, wouldn't she already know about it? Wouldn't she find out if she sees your mom in heaven?"

"Oh, please. My mother is not in heaven. Have you ever read her file? That just holds what the cops know about her. She's definitely in hell."

Dr. Factor chuckled. "My point is, it isn't going to hurt you by talking about it. You won't be able to move on to the next stage of your grief if you don't come to terms with everything."

"You don't think I've come to terms with everything, Doc? I've come to terms with the fact that my wife and my daughter are dead because my mother still manages to screw me over, even from beyond the grave! They're dead because of my past and because I couldn't save them! So you don't have to believe me when I say this, Doc, but I'm just saying that I've come to terms with everything!"

"Look, Rose, I can't force you to talk, but would it really be the worst thing in the world?"

"Yes." Rose snapped quickly. "Are done here? I'd like to go back to my cell. It's almost yard time."