I Am Still Alive

Part 1

Hello to y'all. My name is Maggie and I am 19 years old. I know I am still young and don't know almost anything about life as some of you may say. And maybe you are right or maybe not. Yes I know everybody's having hard times. Some of us more. And what I'm going to tell you here may be a little bit too much to comprehend at once but stick with me and you will understand everything. And maybe you'll find a brand new thing to live for.

So everything started from the kindergarten. You know kids nowadays. They will judge you by the skin color, how you're dressed, if you are rich or poor. Let's just say they are really mean. They don't care about the other people's feelings. They are still little. Even if their parents had to teach them to be good with everyone.

So unfortunately I wasn't rich. Please don't misunderstand me...I wasn't poor either. Something in between. Sometimes I was dressed with my sister's clothes and sometimes I was dressed in beautiful dresses from my aunt. But I had light skin. The kids still didn't like me. They were calling me names, beating me (mostly the boys were doing that), they were telling me  I don't belong here, that I needed to leave, that they all hates me, that I'm ugly and will stay alone for the rest of my life and etc. I felt so bad. I had nobody to understand me fully.

I was crying so much. But only when we had to sleep so nobody could see me like that. Let's face it - they would've probably laugh at me if I did so.

Nobody wanted to play with me. Or even talk. I wanted to curl up in a ball at home and not going out till my last breath. And the funny part is that I was able to put on a smile in front of my grandma when she was taking me. I know my granny could feel my sadness... But she said nothing.
And these kids were laughing at her cause she had a hump on her back. So mean I swear. But that's my grandmother - she was such a good person and with the best smile everyday.

It was so good to be at home. I felt like forgetting about my problems when she was taking me from that hellhole. She was the only one I felt really loved around. Ahh that woman. My precious one. I wanted to tell her how much I love her from the bottom of my soul. And I wanted to tell her what was happening there. But I just kept it for myself. Cause I didn't want to worry her. And I thought she will be with me forever. It's too late now. But I bet she knows how much I love her till this very moment. Oh grandma how I miss you.