Saviors [A SVU and Bensler Fan Fic]

[Chapter One-Hundred-Twenty-Seven]

Cynthia wouldn't respond to Mary when she called and texted her. It was if she thought I was trying to contact her through my daughter. I knew she didn't want anything to do with me, so I wasn't going to force her into talking to me. I planned on sending her a picture and a note after I have the baby, just so she knows that everything went alright. But I doubt she would even care... Cynthia can only see me as her younger sister who seems to keep fucking up.

But I felt more normal once Elliot was back, and the stress in my life wasn't as intense. I missed my best friend, but I needed my husband and I needed my kids to have their father.

But as life went by, and I found out that Elliot and I were having a little boy, I couldn't go to my sister and tell her.

"Liv?" Elliot asked, quietly. I was sitting in the garage apartment, and I was trying to just clear my mind. I looked over at him, but I didn't even try to force a smile.

"The first thing I wanted to do after finding out about our son, was go tell Cy... I can't tell her that she is getting another nephew because she doesn't care. She doesn't like me anymore. She won't even talk to Mary..."

"She's the one missing out on this all. She is the one that pushed us all away because you wanted to get back together with me." Elliot frowned. He sat down on the couch that we had given to Cynthia, but that she left behind. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently, as tears rolled freely down my cheeks.

"This is just a fucking mess, El. I know that I was right bringing you home, but maybe I should've talked it through with her instead of jumping into this all." I sighed. I stood slowly and ran my fingers over my cheeks before walking over and looking out onto our front yard.

"Baby, let's think about him for a bit. Not her." Elliot spoke, before wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing his hands gently against my stomach.

"I think I'm going to try and find her," I whispered, and Elliot groaned before resting his head against my shoulder.

"Baby, please." He begged me.

"What do we need to think about?" I asked, deciding to not make him angry at me for just wanting my sister back.

"His name. Before the kids get home and find out that they have a brother and start throwing names at us."

"I don't know... I'm going to check on Meredith. She should be waking up from her nap soon."

[*]

I was just really down, so all I did until the kids got home was clean up the house like I had initially planned. Elliot and I have been working so much to make up for the time he didn't work and to make sure that we had enough money to pay hospital bills and decorate the nursery for our son. We still had several thousand dollars worth of hospital bills from when Chris was in the hospital.

"Mom!" Mary called into the house once she and Chris got home. Elliot was in the living room playing with Meredith because in the last month she has gotten more used to him again.

"Yes?" I questioned, as I walked out of the laundry room with a pile of towels to take upstairs and put upstairs in the closet.

"Can I go see Aunt Cy?" She asked, and my eyes went wide, but I nodded.

"Yeah... Overnight?" I asked, and she nodded.

"Yeah. She's picking me up soon. So I need to run and get packed." She spoke, and I nodded. She ran to the stairs and took them two at a time so she could get packed as quickly as possible. I looked and saw Chris standing next to Elliot, eyeing mine quietly.

"Momma?" He asked, and I swallowed hard.

"Go ask, Chris," I replied. My son smiled, before running up the stairs after Mary. I walked over and sat the towels on the coffee table before sitting next to Elliot.

"It is going to be quiet with just the three of us here tonight," Elliot spoke, and I nodded slowly.

"It will be. Wanna leave me too? Head to the precinct and work? It'll be just like when the kids were at school and Mere and I spent all day together." I huffed a bit.

[*]

Elliot knew that I needed space, so he left and I spent the night with Meredith. We didn't even get a chance to tell the kids that they were getting a little brother. They didn't call me that night before bed, and I didn't know if I was to pick up my kids in the morning or when they were going to come home.

The next morning, I woke up and I took Meredith for a walk in her stroller. It was nice out and she enjoyed it immensely. But as we were coming back, I saw Cynthia's car in the driveway and the kids were getting out and grabbing their bags. Cynthia got out and hugged them both before turning and going to get back in her car. She saw me and swallowed hard.

"Momma!" Chris exclaimed as I pushed the stroller into the driveway. He hugged me tightly as I kissed the top of his head.

"Hey, Chrissy. Did you have fun?" I asked, and my son nodded.

"I got to hold Max a lot! Then Aunt Cy made homemade pizza with us! It was so much! I can't wait to do it again!" He exclaimed.

"Go thank Aunt Cy and say goodbye to her." I breathed, before pushing the stroller up to the house. I opened the garage and walked in. I took Meredith out of the stroller and I placed her on my hip, but she cried out for Cynthia. I swallowed hard before sitting her on her feet. She toddler towards my sister and I fought off tears as I watched my sister pick up my daughter and hug her. 

All of my kids seem to think that Cynthia is the absolute best thing ever, and I never see them smile when they are around me. I wish that she hadn't moved out, so then maybe my kids would smile like that around me, even if I wasn't the one who could cause that.

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