Boom Clap

Chapter Twenty

Chapter 20~

• Ashlyn's POV•

"Home again home again jiggidy jog." Clara sung as she opened up the door to our dorm.

"I thought it was jiggidy jig?" I laughed.

"I don't fucking know I just wanted to say the thingy ok." She moaned kicking her heels off.

I hadn't even bothered to put mine on. When Clara woke me up I was so hungover I didn't even want to move my body let alone put my dress back on and wear those feet breaking shoes. I was over excessively grumpy about five minutes after I woke up, mainly because as soon as I realized Harry wasn't in the room I became kind of... sad.

"I'm taking a shower." I mumbled before dropping my shit on the floor.

"Whatever." Clara spoke into her pillow.

I slipped away into the bathroom and began to take my clothes off.

Right away I noticed a reddish blue mark on my skin. Confused I leaned forward and examined the injury further.

~it's a hickey~ Britney laughed.

"Damn it" I backed away from the mirror my topples chest exposed. Looking into the mirror I took in my whole body, I was a wreck. Everything about me screamed party slut. My hair was what they called "sex hair" and my body smelled like alcohol mixed with cigarettes.

Forcing myself to look away I turned to our shitty shower and started the process of heating up the water.

~you should feel accomplished~

You could practically see Britney's smug smile.

"Listen Brit I haver been taking my pills as often as I use to! I like who am and I'm trying to give you a chance! So don't push me!"

She didn't say another word.

Something about standing in the shower made life seem sadder. Listening to the quiet rush of warm water always gave me time to think and thinking leads to relaxing. Every time I take a shower I realize how much my life sucks. So I sing, singing always seems to make everything better...

"Nobody said it was easy. It's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard. Oh, take me back to the start..."

Coldplay has got to be one of the most meaningful bands in the world. Who else is good? The band fun!

"If you're lost and alone or you're sinking like a stone carry on oh oh oh ohhh!"

I began to laugh at myself. I was quite possibly the worst singer in the world but, here I was belting out some of my favorite songs. For some reason the shower had became my serenity and I didn't want to leave. Outside of the plastic tub and the broken shower head was a world much worse. Stepping out of the shower meant facing reality and I wasn't quite prepared for that yet.

"ASHLYN!" Clara shouted pounding on the door.

"WHAT!" I screamed back. My serenity had been compromised. Real world was starting to leak in. How could I have had sex with Ethan? When did I become such a bitch?

"GET OUT HERE!" Clara shouted back.

"WHY?" Maybe if she went away I could repair my shield from the recent break of the outside world.

"HARRY IS HERE!" She shouted again starting to get annoyed.

I didn't reply... Harry was here? Why was he here? Did I do something? Is he here to yell at me and call me a whore? No... Why would he do that? Am I a whore?

"DID YOU HEAR ME!" Clara screamed.

"YES!" I sighed and began to shake of some of the access water. My body had trimmers, making me tremble. A gut retching pit was at the bottom of my stomach and I had the sudden urge to puke.

At a moment like this I could really use one of the boys to hand me a towel, hug me and tell me it was ok. I'm not friends with them anymore though . As heartbreaking as it is to not be able to text Luke, Calum, Michael, or even Ashton whenever I wanted not being friends with them was the right choice...

"Pull yourself together!" I mumbled to myself. Gripping the nozzle extremely tight I turned the water off and moving the curtain, stepped out.

"Um I didn't bring any clothes in hear..." I told them through the door.

"Just put a towel on its only Harry!" Clara replied.

I reached under the small sink cupboard and pulled out the biggest towel I could find. Wrapping it around my body I looked at my distorted image in the steam covered mirror. I took my palm and swiped it across the glass. I could see my face briefly before the image got distorted again... I guess I looked ok.

Slowly I opened the door, nervous for some reason.

"Hey." Harry mumbled from on my bed. He was laying down his head resting on my pillow. His legs were so long they reached the other end of the bed frame. He was looking at his phone holding it in one hand and scrolling with his thumb. His other hand was gripping his bottom lip in concentration, focusing on whatever was on the screen.

"You left you're phone in my room." He mumbled again.

Then with closer examination I realized the phone in his hand was not his but, indeed mine.

"Um could I have that then?" I asked nervous. Scrolling through my phone he would be sure to find some pretty dirty stuff. Who knows what kind of pictures Britney had took last night or any nights before that.

"Sure." He said nonchalantly. He stood up and crossed the room grabbing my arm and placing my phone in my hand. For one second we stood there staring into each other's eyes before he abruptly turned around and walked away.