4058 [the historian]

philip 5

all i remembered was eating my food and falling asleep. i didn't even know the time, or what was going on in the other room. the heroin had over came me, i had dosed too much that time. but, god did it feel so good, it felt like heaven on earth if that were a real thing. 

when i woke up, i could hear movement coming from the main room of the garage, voices were becoming clearer as i woke up more. i untangled myself from the sheets, i always had a bad habit of moving around unless i was beside someone. when someone else was laying beside me, it was like i was aware to not move and touch them while i slept. 

i got up, rubbing my eyes and yawning as i took in the scene. the entire team was up, packed bags scattered throughout my makeshift living room, conversations struck up between everyone. 

"what's going on?" i asked, causing everyone to stop and look at me for a moment. 

"we're leaving for a mission, thank celeste for packing your bag. get whatever else you need, we leave in 10." grant spoke up, continuing to pack random electronics and miscellaneous equipment. 

i nodded, a little upset that i wasn't woken earlier and that i had been left out of the entire mission plan itself. i walked to the bathroom slowly, still waking up and reeling from the high i had felt last night. i washed my face, the ice cold water instantly waking me up. i could feel my addiction start up once again. i had to dose myself lower this time, i wouldn't be helpful to the team if i was too high to function...

i repeated the process i knew all too well, dosing myself with enough of it so that i could feel something. i packed it away in the container, making sure that i had enough for the week we would be gone as well as enough clean needles to use. i hadn't brought a bag into the bathroom with me, my room was only a couple steps away. i knew the rest of the team knew about my addiction, marcy had told them months ago when it was bad. 

i quickly opened the door and walked towards my room. nobody looked, they all were finishing their own packing, going through everything multiple times to make sure that we had what we needed. i threw shit around my room till i could find a small string bag, the kind little kids take on field trips you know, and put my box in there. i shoved a few random shirts that i had scattered across my room in the bag on top of my box. 

by the time i finished, the crew was packed up and ready, carly and marcy were driving. than mac and trevor would take over. celeste and i would take the last turn than we switched. my vision was a little blurred, not bad enough to the point i couldn't function. the high i had would last me a few hours, but i would need to re up eventually. carly, grant and trevor all piled into the van, celeste, marcy and i piled into the suv. 

the drive to fairfield, grant finally told me, would take about three days with stops for us to grab food, take restroom breaks and such. celeste and i sat in the back, seated beside each other. she was playing on her phone, music coming from her headphones. marcy drove silently, some new pop song playing on the radio, with the interruption of the gps every now and than. 

i rested my head on her shoulder, her arm going around me. i watched the game on her phone, it was some weird story tapping game, she seemed to enjoy it. i read along with her fascinated at the technology that used to be. where we'd come from, technology was not like this. it was incredibly more complex and advanced and rare. 

government propaganda was the only use of it, they plastered the unbreakable screens everywhere. sometimes it was for the travelers program, it showed us the ways to sign up and in some spots it let us do it right there. other times it was about what life was like before us, technology like this that celeste held. 

a few hours had passed and i knew i was going to need another fix.  i glanced at the very back row of seats we had in the suv, the van had most of our large neccessities. the back row only had my bag and the girls purses. "i'm gonna try to lay down in the back." i told the girls before i climbed over. it was awkward and uncomfortable to do so, but my withdrawl would be a bigger pain in the ass. i searched around my bag, trying to be as discreet as possible as i opened the box. i grabbed a clean needle and syringe,  my lighter, the heroin and a spoon. it was going to be incredibly hard doing this in a moving car. 

heroin was generally odorless, which played in my favor for change. i waited a few moments till both of them were too focused to notice what i would be doing. the car was traveling smoothly, it was a perfect time. i did what i had to do, neither of the girls ever noticed. i injected the heroin, a blissful high came over me. my vision blurred and my movements felt so slow, but god i loved it. i shoved my stuff back into my box as quietly as i could. it was hard, i felt too good to do anything right now. i wasn't always measuring my doses, sometimes i took a little more than what marcy said and other times i did what she told me. 

i laid across the seats, getting as comfy as i possibly could. i wasn't planning on sleeping though, not till my high wore off and i was bored enough. i lost track of the time, i was so gone within my own head i had passed out over time. it's kind of ironic, the fact i said i wouldn't sleep yet here i am , wide awake again. when i sat up, celeste was driving and marcy was asleep in the passengers seat. 

the radio was still on but this time it was the local news for where ever we were driving through. the man on the station spoke about possible rain fall within the next two hours and the duration of the night. "you want me to take over?" i asked celeste quietly, it broke her concentration and i could see her looking at me through the mirror. 

"no i got it, go back to sleep. i only started an hour-ish ago, maybe tomorrow." she replied to me, bringing her focus back onto the road. i laid my head back down on the seat, closed my eyes and took her advice. i didn't dream though, i never did...