Oneshots

X-Men - "I'm fine."

I suppose this oneshot will have a trigger warning. If you don't like it, don't read it. I just really needed to write this right now... This is based on my own life, only thing I changed is that it's set in the X-Men universe (obviously). Anyways, I hope you enjoy. And please, tell me what you think about it.
(Text written in italics is telepathically, by the way.)

Being the only non-mutant in a school full of mutants wasn't that bad. It was like being one big family, like having a lot of siblings. Sure, sometimes I wished I could have powers, powers like the X-Men or the students. But I'd never felt more at home than here at Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters. Everyone was different, so no one judged me.

Still, sometimes I did feel like an outsider. For example, in combat class. Everyone else could use their powers. Me? I used guns or swords. I didn't like fighting, and definitely didn't like killing. I usually tried to run away, to avoid fighting. Some of the students thought I was a coward, but Mystique told me that it's alright that I don't want to fight.

I'd been at the school for about two years now. In those two years I'd gotten very close to Charles Xavier, or as he's known to most students, Professor X. But there were things I hid from everyone, even from him. Considering that he was a telepath, it wasn't easy to hide. But I still tried my best. Because he could never, ever find out about it.

Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters was like any other school. The only difference was that it was a school with mutant students and teachers, and some of the classes were different. But there was still the same pressure and the stress like in any other school. And on top of that, of course, was the conflict between humans and mutants.

I'd had anxiety for as long as I could remember, and the pressure and stress of everything had made me depressed. I had started to self-harm as a result. First, it was just cutting myself. Then, it also became burning. Obviously, I didn't want anyone to know. So I covered it up by always wearing long sleeves. And I always got away with it. It was especially hard to hide from Charles. Since he was a telepath, he could read minds and communicate telepathically with others. He'd promised though that he would never read my mind. And I hoped that was true. Because I wouldn't want anyone else to experience what was going through my mind.

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I sat with my back against the door in my bedroom, staring at my left arm. Blood was dripping down my arm, onto the white tissues that I'd put under it. I'd done this so often now that I just automatically prepared for it. Tissues, bandages, blades. They were next to me on the floor, close enough so that I could easily reach them. I sighed and leaned my head back against the door, looking up at the ceiling. I closed my eyes for a moment, hearing my thoughts in my head. Freak, fat, stupid, worthless, idiot, burden, useless, failure, attention-seeker, bitch, not good enough, loser. I had had enough. I was done. I couldn't do this anymore. Every day, I had to fight to get through the day. Everything took so much effort. Every day, I had to hide what I felt and what I did to myself. I couldn't do it anymore.

My thoughts got interrupted by a knock on my door. "Gosia? Are you alright?" Charles' voice sounded a bit worried. I wanted to talk about it. Damn it, I wanted to scream, I wanted to yell. I wanted to shout about it. But all I could do, was whisper, "I'm fine, Charles." After a few moments I heard Charles go away. I waited a while before putting my stuff under the bed, and walking over to the door. I opened it slightly, and looked if anyone was in the hallway. Luckily, no one was there. Charles probably went back to his office or something. I quietly slipped out of my room, then took the stairs up to the roof. I hesitated for a moment as I slowly walked to the edge.

Was I really going to do this?

Charles' POV

I was worried about Sky. Really worried. They'd been acting different lately. I acted like I hadn't noticed anything, but I had noticed. They barely talked to anyone, always kept to themself. We used to talk about anything, and now we barely talked at all. It worried me. The other teachers also said that they never talked in classes. I wondered what was going on.