A Boy Named Kookie

Love Heals Us

As Yoongi unlocks the apartment a gentle scent of lavender comes to greet us. It helps to calm my racing mind. Going through the motions I put the diaper bag across the couch cushion and take the coat off Jungkook so that he isn't swallowed up by the navy padding. It is reaching midday so little eyes become droopy in preparation for his daily nap. I let Yoongi set up his room and head towards the now permanent nest I used to call a bed. By now we know the routine and I place him on his back and give him his newfound obsession, the little blue bunny paci. I only let him have it to sleep because I don't want him to become dependent, but after a rough encounter at the bus stop I can't help but indulge him. "Sleep now, Jungkookie. Jinnie will be here don't you worry." I run my finger gently up and down his forehead to the tip of his nose and it's a losing battle. I laugh as his breathing evens and he is out like a light.

I make sure to place the body pillow close on the side I usually occupy so that he doesn't feel an empty presence. The distinct whirring of the kettle alerts me to the whereabouts of my now seemingly normal companion. "Yoongi-ya?" The boy turns but simply waves me away gesturing to the dining table just a bit away from him. I take the hint and sit, as I wait I can't help the nervous tick and bounce my leg up and down. Yoongi gives me an apprehensive look as he places green tea in front of me and a black coffee before himself. My bouncing leg immediately stops and we give each other awkward smiles.

"Hyung..."

"Yoongi-ya..."

We both try to explain ourselves at once and laughter breaks the tension, finally allowing us to fall into our comfortable relationship. I gesture for him to continue as I am still trying to recover from the duration of the morning. It is not every day you see the tough as nails Yoongi seated before you sparkly kitten ears adorning his black mane and small frame nestled into a sweater that is just as sparkly and childlike. "Hyung, I have some explaining to do." I can't help the scoff and roll of my eyes at the understatement of the century. He scowls but continues seriously, "This morning I was, in fact, acting differently than you usually see me. Taehyung and I both were in something called little space. It's where one reverts to this childlike state of mind and wants to be treated as such. I know it sounds weird, I never meant for it to go this far. I just..." I can see a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face finally settling on one seemingly of remorse.

Seeing the strong boy before me begin to crumble, I reach out and clasp his hands within mine. "Yoongi..." My soft tone is what finally breaks whatever barrier that held him back from truly feeling, and tears rush down his full cheeks. Gathering strength for both of us I wipe at his tears and cup his face. "I want you to listen to me Min Yoongi," he sniffles and nods his head just barely.

"I, Kim Seokjin, love you. You hear me? We have been best friends since before we even knew what that truly means. I loved you when you went through a rainbow of hair dye in high school. I loved you when you got those tattoos your parents still haven't forgiven me for. I loved you when you chose the music program instead of being a business major like everyone thought. I love you when little kitty ears decorate your head. We are family and that means every part of who you are is loved by me, even that grumpy guy who likes to say 'fuck' as an answer to everything." Little giggles erupt from him and a gummy smile emerges as I sit back in my seat.

"I lov...love you too Hyung. I know I don't say it enough, but I really mean it. I was scared to tell you about being a little because even I don't understand what it means for me. It began as a regression when I was super stressed. I would hole up in my room and cry not understanding why I was feeling the way I do. Then I accidentally met Tae, I was buying a gift for my young aunt's new baby, and he asked me if I was shopping for myself. I didn't understand, he had assumed I was a little and was explaining how he had been one for some time. Things just kinda spiraled after that. It was two weeks later I got my third tattoo." I look at him confused, I only knew about the ones decorating his thigh and forearm. Sighing the younger boy stands up and pulls his top off baring his back to my widening eyes. Decorating the expanse of milky white is a brightly colored kitten inked on his left shoulder blade. "I don't know what possessed me to get this one, I think it was my mind trying to get me to fully accept 'little' Yoongi. If it's inked on my skin then it really can't be pushed away so easily." I run my hand across the purple and back around to the little cat.