Mother's Wish

Part 23

Claire James POV:

The past couple of months have been amazing, dressing them in matching outfits and going on outings and so on. London still wasn't breastfeeding, and I was growing a bit concerned. Landon, on the other hand, was a champ. They were both reaching milestones. I was in the kitchen cleaning out Londons bottles when I heard them on the baby monitor. Landon was waking up from his nap so I ran up to their room when I entered the room Felix, was there comforting London. 

"I thought it was Landon that was waking up." I smiled. "I did too he replied, but it was this angel." he cooed. I just loved watching him with them, it was just so sexy. While I walked over to them I saw Landon waking up, " Babe I'm going to go and get London a bottle." Felix whispered while walking toward the door. I turned back over to Landon who was now fully awake. I picked him up out of the crib and brought him over to the nursing chair, I took out my left breast and latched him onto it. I thought about how I never really got to bond with Landon the first time around. I was just so distraught that I couldn't achieve my dream of having twins. I stared at him looking at right back at me, I never noticed how rosy his cheeks were before. I know that I didn't want him to remember all of the hate I gave, the pain I caused, and all of the other bad memories.

("Landon, go somewhere you're starting to piss me off?" I hollered at the small boy. He had just turned eight and he came to show me the gift that Felix had bought him. "But mom..." he said softly standing next to me while I prepared dinner for that night. "I said get the hell out!!" I barked. I took the knife that was in my hand and without thinking I pierced it into his arm.) 

I will forever remember that day, I stare down at Landon as he suckled. Tears fall from my eyes as I realize that I hurt him, all he wanted was his mother and I could have killed him. Landon just laid there playing with the strands of hair between his fingers. I know he remembers it, and that is what hurts most of all. All I wanted was to be someone mother yet the one that I had, I neglected. I promised myself it was gonna be different this time. Felix comes back with a well-fed London. I wipe the tears from my eyes as he hands her to me before he has to run off to work, She struggles in my arm. I sit them both down as I watch Felix leave out of the nursery. I stare at my two babies thinking that I want to be the best me I can be for them. How can I do that if they remember?

London/Maxine POV:

It's been about five months of me living with the Jame's. Living here has been awful. Mrs.James is the worst. 

One day I wasn't being compliant and she did something so horrible. She was trying to breastfeed me and feed me regular food but I was doing everything in my power not to. I was growing scared because she handed Landon to Mr.James and placed me in the car seat. "What are you doing?" Mr.James wondered. "She has to realize that Maxine, is long gone." she yelled. she then got in the car and drove off. We drove for hours, I don't know how long we drove for but I had fallen asleep. "Wake up!" she yelled. When I did I saw my house, my parents were outside and my sister. I couldn't believe it. Hannah was about 16 now, and she was pregnant. Mrs.James stepped out the car and came to my side of the car. She removed the car seat with me inside and proceeded to over to my family.

"Hello, I was wondering could I use your phone? My car here stopped working for some odd reason and I don't want to get stuck out here with my baby." she lied. I tried calling out to my mother but all she could hear was my baby talk. My mother looked over at Mrs. James and asked how old I was. "She's four months?" Mrs.James replied. We walked inside my house and I saw that most of my pictures were taken down except for the one above the mantle in the living room. "Oh. I see you have two daughters." Mrs.James smiled. My parents' cheery faces went dead. "We don't like to talk about her." she whimpered. 

Mrs.James apologized for bringing it up. Hannah came waddling into the kitchen and smiled at me as I sat in my car seat. "What's her name?" she asked Mrs.James. "London." she exclaimed proudly. "For a brief time her name was gonna be Maxine but I wanted the twins to have something similar." he smartly replied. "My older sister name was Maxine." she sympathetically said. "I'm gonna name my son after her. Max." She stated. "Why are you doing that aren't you worried about two Max's in the family?" Mrs.James questioned. "Maxine went missing a little over a year ago." she cried. "I'm here." I tried to say. I was so close yet so far. My dad came into the room and told Mrs. James that our car was ready, he looked over to me and said "Bye little one. You look just like my daughter when she was a baby." I could see the tears in his eyes.
Mrs.James positioned the car seat back into the car. "You see that my darling, only one picture of you hangs in that house. They don't even speak about you. We are your family. I am your mama." she cried. I sat there looking out the window as we drove further from my house.
Mrs.James was such a bitch.