Dream catcher

3.21.19

It's almost as if I was stuck.

Stuck in time.

The days change and others change but do I? It's strange and I have a variety of emotions to feel.

Is it stupid to feel this way or is it normal.   I see these light right above me shining and shining and yet I can't find my way out.

I'm still stuck in the same place I was before. In a never ending cycle of waking up, eat, going to school and then coming back home. I'm lacking excitement.

Everything feels monotoned. Like keys on a piano. Black and white. Where was the color? Where had it gone in my life.

You must think I'm crazy. Crazy to want things that I don't need. Crazy to want something better than the life I have.

In honesty I'm lucky. I'm lucky to have a mother a father, pets and friends. I know it's selfish to want more but I do. I crave for love, excitement, attention, and something fresh. I crave life.

I want to live the best possible life I can.

I want to rebel.

I want to dance.

I want to feel free.

I'm stuck in the same cycle over and over again yet I don't change. I don't do anything to try to get away. Because I'm scared.

I'm a coward.

Pitiful and afraid.

Afraid to run from everything keeping me down.

So I don't move. I stay where I am. In my bubble of everything I know. In the same rotation that is my life.

I'm still stuck in a place I chose to be.