Him & I

Shock To The System

I'm going into a state of shock
I can twist, I can hardly walk
And I'm holding on for life
Should I be concerned?
——Shock to the System, Green Day

March 22, 2019

Cait's shoes squeaked from the wet sidewalk as she walked through the corridor of the New York Presbyterian Hospital early on a rainy Friday morning. She was exhausted, having spent most of the night trying to calm her nearly hysterical younger brother after their father was taken away by an ambulance.

The phone call from her stepmother had sent Cait into overdrive and she'd practically sprinted out of her own apartment and downstairs to grab a cab, Rae trying to keep up with her. And they'd arrived at the Park Avenue residence inhabited by their collective living parents to Joan trying to calm Connor while still dealing with the paramedics who were working on her husband.

Joan had immediately shoved Connor on Cait and the frightened boy had clung to her. Cait got a look at her father, who was positively grey. She'd never seen him look like that before. But they'd been loading him into the elevator and Joan had told her to stay with Connor.

Eventually, she'd gotten Connor to the couch and he'd explained that Jack was having chest pain. And seemed to have passed out. Connor was still shaking and Rae went to the kitchen to make him some chamomile, which she hoped would calm him down.

"Cait," Connor had sniffled, "what's gonna happen to me now? What if Dad . . ." He'd started to sob.

"Dad will be okay, Connor," she'd whispered. He had to be. He was her father. He was invincible, wasn't he?

"You don't know that," Connor had snapped out through his tears. "You don't."

Cait had swallowed down her own tears and forced herself to calm down. She made Connor look at her. "If anything happens to Dad, you'll be with me, Connor," she'd told him. "Dad already asked me about it and your mother agreed. I'll take care of you."

That had seemed to calm him and Connor had taken deep breaths, gulping in air. "Do you promise?" he'd asked in a small voice.

"I promise, Connor," she'd told him. She'd hugged him tight. But she hadn't been able to help but wonder who would take care of her. Because Cait hadn't been at all certain that she could handle any of this.

Now she walked toward the hospital room and saw Joan conferring with two doctors. She took a deep breath and headed in their direction.

*****

Grayson woke and again had to think about where he was. It took a few minutes, and the meowing of the cat, to realize he was at home. Back in Salt Lake City.  Playing for the Stars again.  Four games in four days.

He knew he needed more rest. He'd been exhausted for a few days now and with good reason. But then it all came crashing back to him.

Cait hadn't answered her phone the night before. And then Rae had texted him to let him know what was going on.

He'd finally spoken to Cait briefly when he got home and after she'd gotten Connor to sleep, but she didn't really know anything more. He hadn't even gotten a chance to let her know that his mom had surprised him and come to Atlanta and then both his parents had come back to Salt Lake City.  Cait had been tired and upset.  And he'd felt awful.