Hey, it's Lei. And I'm going to tell you the number one thing that makes me practically explode.
Grammar.
If I have any other Grammar Nazis out there, they must understand my pain.
I can't stand opening a new book on here, and it looks like freakin' text writing. Seriously? You've got to be kidding me.
You know that Wattpad has a spell checker? Pretty decent tool. I use it quite often. It FINDS mistakes and FIXES THEM. I know, it's impossible. But I swear, it works. The thing underlines your mistakes (which, some people may have a lot of...), and underlines them with this pretty little red line. If there's a red line under a word, it is NOT A WORD. You messed up, man. Fix your mistakes, click on the errors, and it even gives you a little window that you can click on the right spelling of the word.. and it pops up on the screen, all correct-like!
Now, I'm giving you all a moment to get back in your chairs, because I'm positive some of the readers here just fell out. I know. It's overwhelming. But you'll grow accustomed to the new style of things, and use that handy-dandy button right up there! It's quite a lovely thing. Give it a try.
Ever, my fellow Grammar Lovers, have you opened an interesting-sounding book, and, within reading the first sentence, immediately close it because it's nearly unreadable? I mean, honestly, people! I won't read the damn thing if it's not right!
I mean, I'm not perfect (although I'm pretty darn close). And I've made my share of mistakes that I don't catch. And I read books on here that have the same problem! But I don't close those if they're pretty well written otherwise! There's nothing wrong with that.
But this... Oh, this has problems.
the new girl
by lolthatshahafunny
fredrica just movoed to a new citty in like califronia or soemthing and ppl dont like her. no one wants tobe her freind bcuz she is difrent fredrica meets joe whos a sexy guy lol and they fall in luv and now evrythings perfect for them an they like grow up togther and r in luv and stuff haha lol. the end
You've got to be kidding me. Please tell me that your kidding me.
I mean, yeah. I just wrote that, that person isn't real (I think...) and I'm probably going to use the names Fredrica and Joe a lot in my rantings. But SERIOUSLY? That's what half of the people are writing now, and I'm not even kidding!
Misspellings EVERYWHERE? No.
No capitalization/punctuation? No
No plot? No dialogue? No.
And don't even get me started on the text slang. I can't stand text slang in stories! I mean, seriously, that isn't part of our English language! Don't use that crap!
I text, I honestly do, with a phone WITHOUT auto-correct. And I have perfect grammar, punctuation, all that stuff! And I never use a text slang word (shudder).
I want you to just die after seeing that. I mean, I'm not sadistic. But I want to stab you with a fork, put you in a giant ball full of metal spikes, and roll you down a cliff into the ocean.
Is that sadistic? Well. I guess I am.
There's this nice little button on your keyboard called the shift key. Wait, there's two! Isn't that nice? They gave you two for the price of one! You see, if you hold it, then press any letter you'd like, it makes it a big letter!
And ever wonder what those keys with the dots, and the squiggly scribbles, and the smiley face mouth buttons do? That's called punctuation! If you use it, it makes it easier! Man, all the magic of this technology stuff now is amazing!
I love reading, and some of these books you write seem to be remotely interesting, and I'd love a chance to read it. But if I see one single "lol", it's going to be me "lol-ing" as I stab you to death.
And, pressing the pretty blue check-mark key to check for the pretty red lines before I get off...
Perfect.
