Self Esteem ~ Autoestíma

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A/N (WARNING): Unedited - Possible trigger - poor self esteem


It had been a long day and you were later than planned arriving at the party at the clubhouse. The week felt like it would never end - it was emotionally draining and tested every bit of patience you had. Things at work were boiling over with staffing issues and shitty customers, it was making you question everything you knew and how you felt even about yourself.

Walking through the yard in front of the clubhouse you saw the all the usual hang arounds in their typical overly revealing attire. It was something that normally didn't bother you- their attire or even existence; most days you were even okay with them throwing themselves at your fiancé. This was not one of those days, you were struggling to be in your own skin.

"He's inside," Angel said as you walked passed him. "Probably still in the templo."

"Thanks," You said patting him on the shoulder.

Entering the house, you walked straight to the templo looking for the one person who you knew could make you feel like you. You stopped dead in your tracks as you rounded the corner to see in the doorway, it was a view you hadn't seen in a long time. Bishop, Tranq, and Taza were sitting in the templo half dressed women draped over all of them, on a normal day this wouldn't upset you. Your emotion took over as you when Bishop looked up making eye contact with you, it was as if he could see the brokenness in your eyes as you turned to storm off.

You slammed the bathroom door behind you as you entered. Frustrated more with yourself than anything else, tears began to stream down your face. You leaned against the counter trying to gather yourself and calm down when there was a soft knock on the door. Bishop didn't wait for a response before stepping into the bathroom to see your shaken form.

Closing the door behind him, he approached you holding out his arms, you stepped into them and clung to his body like it was the only thing keeping you standing. Sobs wracked your body uncontrollably, you knew you were being pitiful, but that didn't change the way you felt. He shushed your cries and assured you everything would be okay as his one hand resting on your lower back holding you close to him and the other ran up and down your back.

When your breathing became manageable and the sobs became silent tears you finally spoke.

"I'm never going to be the size of those girls, or as pretty as them." You pulled back looking him in the eyes, "I'm not made that way, physically or other ways."

Bishop looked at you speechless,

"I like to eat, and I could never give up my alcohol."

He laughed softly.

You glared at him unimpressed.

"Sorry, I shouldn't laugh." He said smoothing your hair. "You have to know, I am not in love with you because of the size of your waist. I love you because you love to eat and more so love to cook amazing food for me and our whole crazy family." He smiled at you "And your beer intake is adorable and I'm thankful that we can enjoy it together." He paused making sure he had your complete attention before continuing. "But most importantly, I love you because of the size of your heart."

You nodded acknowledging what he was saying. It felt good to hear, but it wasn't going to fix everything you were feeling. Reading you like the open book that you were, Bishop took your hand and kiss you.

"Let me take you home."

"I'm okay, really. You should enjoy the night with the guys."

He gently brushed his thumb over your cheek wiping at the tear stain, "I'd prefer to spend the night showing you how much I love you."

That was all you needed to hear, nodding in agreement he lead the way home.

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