This is an open letter for him.
Dear you,
Every girls dream is to walk in the aisle full of flowers wearing their white flowing dress. Yes, each of us wanted to experience the feeling of in love and to be loved. We want to experience of being wed with someone we love.
Today is a very special day. For you, for me and for her because from this day everything will be different. I saw you earlier wearing the most expensive suit that a man could wear. You was so hot just like always, then I remember when I saw you for the first time. You're wearing your usual police uniform when you almost hit me by your car in our school parking lot. I feel so stunned back then, especially when your eyes met mine. My heart beat erratically like there is no tomorrow. That was a raw feeling for me, everything is new and very different from the usual.
As the hours go by, the ceremony is getting nearer and nearer and the nervousness start to build up inside my system. It feels like a judgement day for me. After the make-up artist done with my make-up, I wore my classy and elegant dress. I rode the car that was assigned for me. We travel for about thirty minutes, but this won't lessen the nervousness I feel, instead it doubled when the entrance of the church shown up in front of me. I immediately went outside the car and walk towards my position for the march. The waiting don't even lasts for a minute because after the few seconds the bridesmaids and grooms men start walking down the aisle. When my turn has come, my whole body felt so numb, my hands start shaking and I suddenly feel that my tongue got tied. This kind of feeling become worse when the soft music filled my ears. Beautiful in white by Shane Filan. What a nice choice of music. When I start listening at the lyrics, I suddenly feel the heat in the corner of my eyes. I wanted to cry badly but I'm avoiding myself to because that would be scandalous. I just focus the man in front of me wearing his usual face and that was you. The man in my dreams and forever will be a dream. As I walk towards you, the tears I'm trying to keep start from falling. I saw your face panicked a bit but I only mouthed you that its okay and I will be okay even we both know that I'm not and I weren't be. I give you my warmest smile but your stoic expression remained. Curiosity build up in me. You should be happy, right? Then why are you giving me the kind of reaction that the supposedly a soon to be married man won't do. When I'm already in front of you, I smiled again but you only give me the kind of smile that obviously not from the heart. Maybe it was just for your formality. I immediately went to my sit after I did my part as the maid of honor in your own wedding. The wedding that was supposedly I'm your bride and you're my groom, not a fucking bridesmaid.
The time continue ticking and the ceremony is on its "I do" part. Do you know that it is the most painful part of this wedding for me? Because this is where I will hear you to say your "I do" and cite your vows to another woman except me. After realization hit me my eyes become pool of tears. But the next thing was so unexpected when your supposedly "I do" change by "I don't". Then the rest is a history.
Now, here I am wearing my saddest smile in front of your graveyard. Still hoping that you'll come back. I'm offering this open letter for you. I hope my messages and my love reach you wherever you are.
Da quando ti conosco la mia vita ѐ un paradiso. Mi hai cambiato la vita. Sei l'uomo dei miei sogni caro mio, Tesoro mio, 99cuore mio, amore mio.
Vostra Amore,
Eid Lin
