Shawn Mendes Imagines

1-Behind the Facade of Love

A/N: I just wanted to thank everyone for reading, this is my first imagine and I wrote it for a writing class I'm currently taking. I was told that I should publish it, so why not make a few tweaks and make it about Shawn freaking Mendes right? haha.

Trigger warning: I don't really know how these work, but there is mention of domestic violence/abuse in this story so please don't read if that is upsetting or triggering for you. Love you.

The lying. That was the hardest part. You'd think it'd be trying to cover the bruises and scars, or dealing with the daily beatings. But for me, it was the constant lying to my best friend. He knew something was wrong, but he had no idea the actual gravity of the situation. I knew I had to tell him, I just didn't know how to. Would he be mad that I had waited 2 years to tell him? Would he be pissed with the 'man' putting me through all this? Or would he think I'm too pathetic for letting this happen to myself? How could I make him understand? How could I make myself understand?

I slowly sit up in the cold bed, my stomach excruciatingly sore form the countless kicks and punches the night before. After taming my hair into a ponytail, I change into the loosest shirt and sweats I own, before slowly making my way down the stairs. I fought off the numerous flashbacks of being pushed down them, while walking into the kitchen. I see a note next to a cold cup of coffee I could only assume he left for me. In his barely legible doctor's penmanship, the note read, "Morning my love. I had a last minute business meeting, I'll be home tomorrow morning. Don't leave, you should have everything you need here. And if you don't - call me and I'll take care of it. Don't do anything you'll regret later. Love you. -Kamden" He always did this, wrote me a note every morning, telling me to behave myself, and leaves me the only cup of coffee I'm allowed to have, which more often than not is cold. I'm pretty used to it by now, but every now and then it still gets the best of me. How could it not? I take the black mug and put it in his microwave - it wouldn't be the same as fresh coffee, but it would be more bearable. I would just dump it - but I need the caffeine to stay awake after my usual restless nights. 

As I'm drinking my now hot coffee I did something I knew Kamden would hate, but at this point I didn't care, I needed to tell someone. I texted my best friend asking him to come over so that we could talk. I then went to shower and dress into jeans and my favorite hoodie. I then pull out my concealer and foundation, and begin covering any visible marks on my face and neck. At first, doing this was quite challenging - trying to make it look like nothing happened whatsoever; but over the last 2 almost 3 years, I've become quite skilled at it. Wouldn't want anyone finding out how much of a terrible girlfriend I am, now would we?

I check the time -11:23 AM- he'd be here any minute, so I sit on the couch downstairs and wait for him. When he walks in the door, he smiles and gives me the biggest hug; this was the first time we'd seen each other in a little over 2 months-the last time Kamden was out of town. "Hi, Shawn," I mumble into his chest, hugging back with everything I had in me, not matter how much it hurt. He was the only person who could comfort me and make me feel safe - and right now that's the only thing I needed. Feeling slightly dizzy, I pull away from the hug first, and sit on the couch, inviting him to do the same.

"Y/N, you have no idea how much I missed you. Why haven't you called or texted?" he asks and I can sense the hurt behind his words. Dammit! How do I explain this to him? Do I keep lying to him like I have been for years or do I come clean and see how he reacts?

"I've just been really-uh-busy, ya'kno?" I reply hesitantly, hating that I keep lying to him. Part of me knows what Kamden is doing is wrong and disgusting, but the other part is convinced that I'm not giving him a choice. If I was a better girlfriend he wouldn't be embarrassed of me in public and have to correct me when we get home. All of this was my fault. I caused this.

"Yea, I've been pretty busy too - but I really woulda enjoyed talkin' to you. I woulda dropped everythin' the second you called," he assures me with a smile on his face. That damn smile. I couldn't lie to him anymore. No matter how much I felt I needed to. I just couldn't.

(around 45 mins later):

"Listen I need to tell you some-" I get cut off with the slam of the front door. Kamden was staring at Shawn and I, sitting on the couch, all curled up with blankets and wine, talking. I knew this was going to end terribly. There's no way it wouldn't.

Kamden immediately started yelling. "You slut! I told you to stop to talking to that douche! Then I come home and you're drinking and hanging out?! I can't believe you!" He marches over to the couch and slaps me hard across the face, everything happening faster than Shawn or I could process.

"Shawn, I think it's best you leave - I'm sorry you had to see that," I whisper barely loud enough for him to hear.

"No what the hell? Don't apologize, Kamden should be the one apologizing. And I am most definitely NOT leaving right now!" he responds the anger blatantly obvious in his voice.

"No Shawn, go, it's ok- it's my fault. He's acting like thisss because he loves me. He's just mad cause I asked you to come hang out- I should be in trouble. I deserve thisss. You should go. I'mm sorry," I say my speech slurring slightly. We were now all standing and arguing, it all became too much to process. Shawn knows everything. Kamden is mad at me again, but he loves me still right? All this overthinking and stress is making my head pound more. I sit down, trying to lessen the pressure and dizziness I feel at this very moment. "Guysss, I think I-" I try to get their attention, but they are still fighting, and it looks to be getting more intense. Then everything goes black.

(4 1/2 hours later):

Ringing. That's all I hear. It's pitch black and I can't see anything. Nothing is there. Just that damned ringing. It's so cold-freezing even. I then feel a sudden warmth on my hand. And I hear a steady beeping faintly in the background. Then, I hear sobbing. I want so badly to comfort whoever that is. I try with everything in me to open my eyes, move my hand, anything to let this mystery person know that I'm here.

Then I feel my hand slowly squeeze the hand in mine. "Y/N? Oh dear God! Doctor, she's waking up!" I hear the voice of my best friend call out. I use every ounce of willpower and energy in my body and open my eyes. There's a blinding white light, and it takes several moments for my eyes to adjust. I look over to the chair to the left of my hospital bed, and faintly smile.

"What happened? Last thing I remember is Kamden coming home," I ask quietly, my throat dry.

"You passed out. Turns out you have a pretty severe concussion, and since you haven't been treating it, it got slightly worse. I called 9-1-1 and got you an ambulance. Oh- and I made sure Kamden got locked up. You're gonna have to go to court once you're better, but then he'll be out of our lives for good," he replies softly, assuming I have a headache.

"But- he said he loves me. He wasn't doing anything wrong. It was all me- he wouldn't hurt me if I didn't deserve it. He said he loves me!" I say starting to cry slightly, the emotions from everything that has happened in the last 24 hours setting in.

"Hey! He did NOT love you. If he did he would never lay a finger on you in that way, do ya hear me? He is a horrible human being, if we can even call him that. Don't ever let anybody treat you like that ever again. And if anyone ever tries you call me and I will drop anything and everything to beat the living shit out of them. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. Especially you. It's disgusting and wrong. THAT is NOT love. It's going to be hard to recover from this and to learn what love really is, but I will be here every single step of the way. I'll show you what love is, because I DO love you. I promise. Ok?" he declares the adoration and seriousness in his tone evident.

"Ok. I love you, thank you for helping me," I reply my face flushed

"I love you too, always have, always will."

Maybe he was right, maybe I did deserve more. 

2 years later:

The ringing. The beautiful ringing, of wedding bells. 2 years ago I would've never thought a day like today would be possible, but here I am. Married to my best friend and love of my life. I couldn't ask for anything more in life. Kamden is locked up for good, apparently he had gotten into some other serious shit and won't be getting out for a longgggg time. I'm the happiest I've ever been, and I owe that all to the man I get to call my husband.