P.s I Love You

Chapter 5

 You wouldnt expect a radio to work after but it did. It worked after a four-ton pickup truck going 60 miles an hour ramming straight into the passrengers side. However i heard the radio, which was weird because the entire car was in pieces but 'beside you' was still blasting through the radio. some how a bettery was still connected. I let the music fill my ears relaxing me after what has just happened. I lay there for a while before I hear people talking and footsetps cracking the ice on the icey road near me.

I lifted my head from the snow. i excepted it to be cold but it wasn't. i couldn't feel anything. i had no cuts even though i went flying from the car. my clothes were the same not teared up or bloody. why was i like this shouldnt a dead person, i mean, look dead.

am i dead? 

 At first it seemed obvios that I was. That this is just what happens before you die. Standing and watching waiting for the bright light and the life-flashing-before-my-eyes crap that would then tranport me to wherever I go next. However the paramedics are here now along with the police and fire department. 

I climbed out of the ditch i was in and saw the car. It was upside down and the doors were all over the place. glass was scattered across the floor. I saw the family that hit us. they were okay since they had a big truck. our car wad like a spider web, fragile and delicate. i walked around the road franticly looking for my family. however i was not crying. i always saw hope. i always saw the light at the end of the tunnel. i just hope the rest of my family and freinds would see that little sliver of hope too. 

i saw my mom lying on the icey road paramedics and firefighters surronding her checking to see if she was still alive. I sat next to hear and squeezed her hand. I wiated. I waited for a squeeze. there was none. was she dead. She couldnt be. What did she ever do to deserve to die? Why was it us that had to get in a stupid car accident? What did I do?I listened to the doctors talking, hoping they'ed say, shes alive, or there is hope, but thats the exact oppisite of what they said.

"shes gone get the bag" a doctor said sadly to a firefighter. He goes and gets the bag explaining to a rookie firefighter that my mom was killed instantly from the lack of blood. it wasnt her choice to "leave" obviosly but it was her way. They brought out a body size, plastic bag  and zipped my mom up in it. she was dead. Tears brimmed in my eyes as Someone put a sheet over my father.

however the question Am I dead kept repeating in my head over and over. was I really dead? I was so confiused and just wanted to go home. i wanted to wake up. But i didnt know if i had the choice to or not. 

"someone tell me whats going on" i said tears now streaming down my face. They didn't answer me. i squeezed the top of my hand. wake up fro this nightmare i said to myself and then ran over to sam. He was in a ditch too. i reached out to grab his hand and pull him out when i saw a shiny bracelet with a guitar on it.

It was me. the doctors pulled me out and checked to see if i was dead or alive. Turns out that i moght acctually be dead. I mean, i deffinatly looked dead. was i? The me who was lying over the road, is surronded by men and woman performing frantic "surgury" on me, plugging my viens and cheaking my heart beat. 

The police direct cars, in both directions, to turn back. They climb out of their cars, hugging themselves against the cold. Some of them look away while others cry, one woman through up in the ferns on the side of the road. Another part of me that makes me think im dead is the fact that when they get back in their cars and turn back around i can feel them praying even thogh i dont know them. That and the fact that my body is numb and i can not feel anything.  My leg is pared down to the bone, i should be in agnoy. I know that something unthinkable has happend to my family. we are like humpty dumpty and all these kings horses and all these kigs men cannot put us back together again. 

My thoughts were interupted by a nurse who was yelling across the crash site to a person near the ambulance.

'shes in grave condition get her on the stretcher" a doctor yelled and i saw doctors run with the stretcher to my body. what does grave condition mean?  i must be alive, i mean if i wasn't then they'ed zip me up in a bag like my mom. I cried at the thought realizing that i lost my mom... and my dad. they put me on the stretcher and put me in one of the two ambulaces. the other one had to be for sam. unless he was dead too...

I Ran around trying to find sam. i finally found him. He looked so different. he was so pale. he was not smiling or laughing like he always was. his curly hair was all over the place and had so many cuts and bruises and blood all over his clothes. I looked away as a tear escaped from my eye. 

"sam" i whispered barley audible. They ran over to him and put him up on the stretcher. I jumped over car pieces trying to catch up to the stretcher. They put sam in the ambulance and shut. i quickly got in the back of my ambulace with them as they closed the doors and left. the sirens went off and we went flying pass cars. the doctor started pumping a bag with one hand and adjusts my IV and moniter with the other. she smooths out a piece of hair from my face and continues pumping. i smiled and looked out the window. i already missed my family and its only been 2 hours.  

i focused my eyes on the two yellow lines separating the cars on the left and the cars on the right. my eyes hurt so i shut them tight and then opened them back up and went straight back to staring at the line. i just wanted to be back home watching movies with my family and drinking hot chocolate with mini marshmellows and wipped cream. 

Missing my family reminded me of the first night i went on tour with 5sos. i was homesick and bored so i stared at the yellow line while the boys watched some ninja movie. i thought about my family and friends to try and keep me less homesick.

Ashton snuggled with me that night. Right now i need that i need him to be here and hold me and tell me everything will be alright.

_____________________

so this chapter was sad i know! i got extreme Ashton feels writing this just saying! Im actually pretty proud of this chapter tbh.

anyways right now im at a party for my moms triathlon team thing it was boring but worth it because now i dont have to got to an hour and a half swim practice so...

okay so im gonna go byee

Cami😊