breathe

stan 1the9 

i love my 2002 liners

--

jung jinsung is what you call a clingy person.

okay, scratch that.

jung jinsung is what you call an extremely clingy person.

affectionate by nature, jinsung tended to gravitate towards his members like butterflies to flowers during pollen season.

and as affectionate as he is, jinsung is also a very sensitive person.

he knows when yongha is feeling a bit too pressured from being their leader, or when junseo's feeling a tad bit insecure about his abilities. he knows when sungwon is sad because his ever present smile is missing from his face, and he knows when seunghwan's feeling extra tired from the never ending practice they endure everyday.

whenever jinsung feels like his members need a hug, or an energy boost, or simply a pat on the back, jinsung will bound over to cheer them up like a conditioned dog. jinsung is always there to oblige, words of comfort and encouragement spilling from his lips and his arms always open to give the warmest hugs.

this particular sunday though, jinsung woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

not literally, but well, you know what i mean.

he didn't want to leave his bed, he didn't want to face the day, and he didn't really want to see anyone for the time being.

nothing particularly bad happened, it was just one of those days where in he's got too much on his mind and the thoughts are suffocating him so much he can hardly breathe.

is he doing this right? is he even good enough to stand on the stage? does he even have a chance? what if the fans stop liking him after seeing him when they debut? what if they realize that jinsung's the least talented member here? where would that leave him next?

a knock on the door interrupts his thoughts of self-pity.

no, go away.

the person knocks again and jinsung lets out a small "come in."

the door opens and yechan's head peers into view, slightly wary eyes meeting jinsung's.

"oh good you're up. what are you still doing in bed? breakfast is ready, are you okay?"

no, oh god leave me alone.

"yeah hyung, i'm okay. i'm not really hungry so i'm probably going to skip breakfast today."

yechan stares at him for a moment before nodding.

"well, alright. today's our day off so you're free to do whatever you want. the others and i are going to the studio for a bit to rehearse though, would you like to come?"

get a hint already and go away.

"no hyung, i'm good thanks." jinsung answers with a small shake of his head.

yechan nods again before his head disappears and the door closes with a firm 'click.'

jinsung sinks into his bed, blank eyes staring up into the ceiling. the thoughts are back, and jinsung curls over to the side, his arms reaching for the sheets. he pulls it over his head, and he hides himself, wishing that his blanket could not only hide him from the world, but also hide his thoughts from his own mind as well.

his wallowing was disrupted once again by another knock on the door. jinsung had no intention to ask who was knocking, nor did he untangle himself from his messy sheets to open the door. he didn't tell the person to come in, jinsung simply laid in his bundled up sheets, like a caterpillar in its cocoon, not caring when another knock sounded.