My Lame Life

Dang Dude

So I decided to come on Wattpad again because my life is as boring and depressing as ever and I need something to let my thoughts out on, my journal just aint it chief. 

I just re-published my previous book like this that I wrote in 2017... 2 years ago and I'm coming back? yes. 

I no longer have real friends, just a few people who occasionally ask how I'm doing & try to get their nose into my business ugh. The only person I talk to is my current boyfriend who I've been with for 6 months now (my longest relationship since I was 12 haha) who even knows why he's stayed for so long and hasn't given up on me like everyone else has... he must really love me :) 

A lot has happened since I've been gone (the past 2 years) but at the same time nothing has happened as well. 2018 was a really rough year for me, I was very depressed and I wanted to actually die. I would think about dying everyday on my walk home from co-op. I only talked to one person about my depression and we were pretty close friends, he helped me a lot and I wish they still talked to me so I could thank him for being there for me through the tough times. 

I realized I was depressed and I wanted to change so I started to try to be more positive and take care of myself better than I had been. I started doing things I wouldn't usually do to make myself feel more confident like wearing shorts in public and trying different makeup looks. I also started writing my thoughts in a journal so they didn't build up in my mind until I explode in sadness or anger. I was getting better and I still am, I've worked hard to come this far and I'm not going down the wanting to die road again. I still have rough days and days where all I do is cry alone but I am very proud of how far I have come from where I started, I don't want to actually die anymore and I'm slowly making my life better. 

Exciting news!!! (come on, everyone loves exciting stuff) My mom bought me TWENTYONE PILOTS tickets for christmas!!!!!!! they are coming to my city (which is super suprising because bands & artists I love only go to Toronto when they come to Ontario) I am super excited to go to this concert, the only issue is that the "friend" I had invited to come with me never talks to me or hangouts with me, she only talks to me about the concert so I feel like she is using me so idk if I am actually gonna bring her or not :/ 

Stay positive & Stay alive ||-//