Dear world,
My name is Madelyn Monroe and I have decided to take my life. You will never know why unless you revive one of my letters. But when they are recived I will already be dead I am putting them all in a post box not set to be picked up until the day after I'm already gone.
Dear mum,
I've decided to write this letter to you even though you will not understand it. In my short life I have endured too much, and done countless unspeakable things. I don't know where to start except for at the very beginning, with you. I remember the last sensible thing you said to me before you left that day. You said exasperated, "Oh Madelyn, take out the goddamn trash!" you slammed the door on the way out, because you were angry. You were always angry those days and still I don't know why. Why were you angry, why did you take it out on me?
When you didn't come home for a while I smiled, in a cruel way, for sure, but I still did. After four days I started to worry, I thought could mum could've done the same thing dad did, could she have died too. I couldn't have imagined that it was worse. I panicked and I called the number you called when we found dad in the bath tub. 9-1-1.
Three rings.
"Hello 911 what's your emergency" the lady answered.
"My mum is gone!" I said
"When and where was the last time you saw her?" she asked
"Four days ago and at our house"
"Why didn't you call sooner?" she wondered.
"I don't know! Please help me find her!" I sobbed into the receiver.
"Are you home all by yourself?"
"Yes,"
"Alright can you tell me where you live?"
"Yeah, 139 Highland Terrace," I murmered.
"Ok then, my friends will be there shortly to pick you up, now don't be scared,"
I wasn't scared I had seen the police often when you and dad fought, when I got taken away I lived with officer Jenny for two days. And that's who came and got me then. Jenny said that we would find you. We did, first we searched the morges because I was certain that you had porposfully driven off a ledge somewhere. But to no avail, after a week of searching the hospitals we found you.
You had been in a coma eleven days and you woke up to me screaming.
"MUM, MUM PLEASE DON'T DIE! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"
You did but your eyes were blank and glossy, you started mumbling random things, and stood up and strode out into the lobby in nothing but a dressing gown. When the nice nurse told you to head back to the room, you attacked, you ripped at her and screached, "Why did you take him! No one touches my kitty!" you dashed out the door and stripped off your gown throwing yourself in front of an on coming truck, it swerved and crashed killing the driver in a fiery explosion. I ran out after you, but you did the worst. You stared at me and yelled "I hate you! I hate you! Get away from me or I'll kill you!"
I looked away defeated and left. I knew at this point for you there was no return. I visited the asylum twice. The first time you thought I was a nurse, and kept asking me for tissues as you insisted you had a cold. The second time you were talking to the furniture about the politics of 1984. I have never sense returned. But your insanity was only one of the reasons.
Because both you and dad are not able to care for me I have been passed from foster home to foster home. And I need to tell you what they did to me is worse than what you did. With you ther was only emotional and physical abuse, there was sexual i lost all innocence. In the Reed house I was brutally overworked and abused by the father... All the girls were. I became pregnant but the kids at school already hated me so I couldn't let that happen. I killed the baby, when no one was home except me and Lilly, one of the other girls, I went to the top of the stairs and jumped. I bellyflopped head first sliding and leaving a bloody trail behind me, I left that day leaving the rest of my dead almost child in the woods to be devoured by wolves. I was put in a new household, Zachery and Kevin were nice guys but they were only keeping me for two months to prove they could adopt a little girl of their own. I went to four more terrible foster homes getting hit, yelled at, and yes raped. I bore too many scars and eventually it was decided that I was to stay at the orphanage. I did, I went to school in the same district I had when I was in the Reed house. And I met an old friend. Do you remember Alex, the Alex that moved away turns out he went to school there. But he couldn't stop me from being bullied and he can't stop me from what I'm about to do.
