Seven Lifetimes (A CHANBAEK FF)

Lifetime 2

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"Do you think I can make it?"

The night was cold and dark. It was still beautiful though, how the moon glowed elegantly in the nighttime, lighting up the lonely streets around the Jung residence. Baekhyun sat weakly in front of Seju's desk, which was placed parallel to the large window in his room. Baekhyun had his arms hugging his legs, his chin resting atop his knees. It was cold, both literally and metaphorically for Baekhyun. After all these years since his misery started, never in his existence the world felt warm. Everything seemed cold and distant, unfamiliar and strange. The world didn't warm up to him since.

He sighed as he continued shedding silent tears, wondering how calm but sad he was tonight. Maybe it was one of those times where all his fright and panicking don't work, just his loneliness and desperation to finish the punishment was with him.

"I know I'm almost there, but I'm so helpless. The pain feels the same. It's been over seven hundred years but everything feels like it happened yesterday," Baekhyun looked above to where the moon was residing, as if it was staring back at him but silent, completely ignoring his torment.

"His face looks the same, I look the same. He's already in his seventh life but I'm still here, the same Baekhyun from six lifetimes ago, existing but very much dead. I'm almost there, but sometimes... sometimes I can't take it anymore, I want everything to end..." He put his legs down, feet touching the floor, as his hands pulled down his hair in frustration. He was waiting for an answer. Waiting for any answer. But the moon stayed quiet.

No one saw him since that day.

Since he woke up in that living room that day, walking towards the bedroom where he saw pictures of his first love, Park Chanyeol. Where he saw a boy looking very much like Chanyeol in his teens, wearing that school uniform and that name---Lee Yeol, no one saw Baekhyun.

He tried going forward the boy, weak and scared as how his body felt so different in his each step. Baekhyun walked towards him, was about to ask the questions his mind was overflowing with. But when he was almost there---so close, the boy stepped forward, not noticing Baekhyun's presence and passing through him.

Passing through Baekhyun.

And that was when everything started.

His mind was clouded with questions. But when Baekhyun saw a living person pass through him, it was as if something was triggered in his mind. Everything felt so clear that moment---who he was, who Lee Yeol was, who Park Chanyeol was, why he was there and what was happening. It even became so clear what Baekhyun was since that time; a ghost. Not alive, but not dead either.

Baekhyun was so scared that time but what could he do? No one could see him. He couldn't talk to anybody, couldn't ask anybody. The only living being he thought of talking to after all that was the moon. But even the moon refused to talk to him.

And he had been like that for six lifetimes.

He knew he was being punished. He knew it was a curse. He knew how he should stick with Chanyeol, all throughout his six remaining lives, and how Baekhyun should suffer because of that. Chanyeol was those six different identities, and now he was Jung Seju.

It was nighttime, and Seju decided to go with his colleagues at work to some club. Baekhyun didn't have the heart to follow so decided to go to Seju's house on his own, walking the empty streets without any hint of worry in his heart. No one would dare harm an invisible, lifeless ghost, anyway.

And there Baekhyun was, desolate and bleak inside Seju's room, talking to the moon because he had nobody else to talk to. He hadn't heard a single soul speak to him for so long, and sometimes he would be desperate enough to talk to himself and ask him how he was.

"How are you, Baekhyun?"

"Are you okay, Baek?"

"How was your day?"

"Are you tired?"

Silly questions like that.

Baekhyun didn't know how those simple words mattered for someone to survive. He needed it. He was yearning for those words. But he wasn't alive, and though he wished for those, he would sometimes wonder if he could say those words to Seju instead.

Seju was quiet. He didn't talk much, just like the person that he was as Chanyeol on his first life. He was smart and geeky, a social butterfly. Everyone was his friends but he never had a permanent group of people to be with. He was social, but still mysterious. He was open to his mother, the only relative he had, but sometimes Baekhyun wondered if Seju was really okay. He always smiled, but it was rare that the smile reached his eyes. Baekhyun had been there for so long, he could already tell those little things.

"You won't talk to me, I know," Baekhyun said, giving up. He stood up, eyes stared sharp at the skies. His chest heaved fast angrily. Everything felt so unfair. "I know you won't talk to me, or anyone up there! But if you really are one of the Heavens, can you at least do something for me? I'm not entirely a bad person!"

Baekhyun walked towards the window. His fists curled into a ball from both sides. Everything was always against his will. He knew he was being punished, but he couldn't help but still feel so mad.

With crying eyes, tears flowing down his cheeks continuously, Baekhyun begged the Heavens. He was calmer, but desperation was still evident in his voice. "It's already the seventh life... C-can... can Chanyeol love me now?"

"Who are you?"

Baekhyun's eyes were wide when the familiar voice resonated the four corners of the room. He turned his head towards the door in surprise, seeing Seju standing there in his office uniform, a backpack on his shoulders, and eyes staring directly at him.

"Y-you.. you can see me?" Baekhyun's voice was hoarse with all the crying. His legs were shaking he felt it would fail him any moment.

"I said who are you? Why are you in my room?"

Baekhyun wanted to turn back at the windows,  but he couldn't take his gaze away from Seju, who was locking eyes with him. He felt like the moon was staring at his back; right through his soul.

"I... I was---I'm..."

Baekhyun couldn't find the right words. It was the first time after a long time that somebody was talking to him. With a messed up mind, Baekhyun tried walking towards Seju, his legs weak and hesitant but still more than willing.

"C-chan---Se...Seju-yah..."

The smell gave it off. Baekhyun realized Seju was drunk. He was reeking with alcohol, his posture seeming more disoriented now than earlier. Baekhyun panicked. He was aware that the male would pass out any moment now and of course, he wouldn't be able to do anything. He was a ghost incapable of almost everything.

Seju looked back again at Baekhyun in the eyes, a frown formed at his face. He was trying to decipher who the person in front of him was, but his head was fuzzy. Giving in, he closed his eyes. His weight slowly fell down the floor.

Panicky, Baekhyun rushed towards the male, trying his luck to do anything though he knew at the back of his mind he couldn't.

What happened next confused Baekhyun.

They both stumbled down the cold floor. Seju was unconscious. Baekhyun managed to breathe in, feeling a bit different. The male was clutching delicately on Baekhyun's shirt. Baekhyun was breathless when his mind started absorbing everything. Seju could hold him. And when he looked at his arms, examining his body, he could clearly see.

For some reason, Baekhyun had a physical human body, flesh and blood. Right in front of his eyes. Baekhyun was still speechless as he stared back at the light of the moon from the sky.

For the first time in a long time, the moon answered him.

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