I don't know.
I just miss writing.
I'm bored.
;
☆━━━━━TAYMOR━━━━━☆
"why isn't this workinnnn!"
My foot stomps the bathroom floor, coming down roughly.
"uhh!"
I eye my hair again, my hands still in it as I try to force it the way I wanted it to be. Almost 45 minutes in to the hour Jamell had given me to get ready and I was still playing in my hair, not dressed or even showered.
I take my hands out of my hair again and it falls right back to its natural state, not taking to the manipulation. I was almost ready to cry right now.
"what the fuck!"
I stomp again, my body growing limp as I flopped around frustratedly. Nothing was going right.
I whined at the way I looked, crossing paths with my reflection again. My hair looked disgusting, I was breaking out and the color I had picked out for my braces just didn't suit me. I just looked-
"a hot fucking mess."
Pushing the products aside I groan, beginning to give up on the miracle I tried to work. I was so disappointed with my appearance, I didn't even want to look at myself anymore, let alone go out with Jamell.
I turned at the cold water on the faucet,
running my hand underneath it.
Had my confidence not been at an all time low since JamelI had cheated, I wouldn't have even cared. Then again I just tried to do what Jamell liked; just about anything to keep him around and fully interested in me.
"Why you'n never do this that way?"
"Why you'n never dress like that?"
"You'n ever be trynna look good for me."
I replay his words while glancing over at the outfit I had for today, hopeful that he would be satisfied with that seeing as how it was the only thing I had left to look somewhat put together.
Thinking of how much he suggested little things about my appearance, he had to of hated the way I normally looked. He was always trying to get me to do little things to make myself look better, and here I was moving in the wrong direction. I look worse than I did when I started.
My once faded up nappy curls turned a limp mess full of gel that hung in my face. It was all so weighed down and gross-looking it almost resembled noddles.
Jamell was gonna hate it.
I groaned, leaning down and taking cold water to the face. I splashed it over, hoping it would take some of the stress off and maybe help me relax a little.
I was way to worked up over this, right?
I mean I ain't exactly ugly.
A few more moments pass of me doing that until my counter starts to vibrate.
"fuck."
I rise my head out of the sink, quickly reaching for a rag before I grab the phone.
Without looking I swipe, connecting the FaceTime before I set the phone down, wiping at my face.
As it connected, I tried to find someway to make myself presentable and look at least almost ready or else Jamell would probably cancel our plans with how impatient he was sometimes.
The line connects and I immediately start talking.
"I just need 10 more minutes baby,
I promise."
"Are you outside now?"
