Alfred The Meme Dealer: The Sequel

Chapter 7

"So have we thought about how we're gonna do this?" Alfred asked as they neared the border of Poland. The three had been discussing if they should just repeat the nuke thing and bomb everyone with memes, but that would take so much time! And there is no time!

"How about we make a bullet loaded with a medicine that makes anti-meme people love them. Then we shoot leaders of countries the the E.U and they'll legalize the imports!" Ivan suggested. Amelia was silent and Alfred looked back at him.

"You are a fricken genius..." he muttered, admittedly sad he didn't come up with that on his own. Ivan smiled and clapped excitedly.

"Alright, now we have a plan! How are we gonna do it...?" Amelia asked, realizing that as great as Ivan's plan was, she had no idea how they'd make it happen.

"Oh don't worry, I can handle it! In fact this is great timing, I know Feliks can get me what I need! Be right back!" with that, Ivan jumped out of the plane, like he had done many times in the past.

"He'll be okay right?"

"Oh yeah he'll be fine." Alfred replied, confident in his boyfriend's ability to survive jumping out of planes.

A few seconds later

Once he hit the ground, Ivan stood up, not caring that his legs were the definition of broken. Luckily he landed close to Feliks' house. Sneaking through several bushes, Ivan peaked through one of the windows. The room he was looking into seemed empty.

"Okay good... Just get what you came for and leave. Easy!" He thought as he opened the window carefully. With very broken legs, Ivan managed to climb inside. Although he realized that once he got inside, Feliks was actually there. On the floor asleep... For some reason. He didn't know his life so he wasn't gonna question it. Wasn't his problem after all! Walking as quietly as he could, Ivan managed to not wake Feliks up and get into the next room. He found a staircase that lead to the next floor, which kinda sucked because the whole leg thing. Although he had to get the anti-anti meme drug.

Earlier in 1939

Feliks jumped in a bush, holding his breath while desperate not to let the German soldiers hear him. He had ran a good three miles before he felt as if he couldn't even stand. Small pistol in hand, he watched as the soldiers walked past, clearly not seeing him. Feliks sighed in relief and went to move again, but as he moved his arm to a different spot, he fell through the ground entirely. He landed in an underground cave that had a reddish-pink glow to it. Very confused, Feliks got up and looking around. There were weird writings on the walls, and things that he's never even heard of. Like what the frick were "Air Pods"? And what was "Bitch Lasagna"?! Scared, but curious, Feliks decided to explore the cave some more. Eventually, the cave lead into a big open space, that was dim but fully illuminated pink. In the room there was a person, they had their back turned towards Feliks and seemed to be working on something.

"Uhh... Who are you?" he asked softly. The person stopped whatever they were doing a turned around.

"Ah yes... I recognized that voice as mine!"

"What the hell?!" Feliks jumped back when he saw the person's face. They looked JUST like him! Same eyes, same hair, but not the same clothes. When Feliks asked who he was, the response seemed unreal.

"I am you! From the future!"

"EXCUSE ME, WHAT?" Feliks was now fully confused, when did he learn to time travel? n the future I guess...

"This is my secret lair, those writings to might have seen where just me listing things that are to come in the future. I was just getting ready to come find you!" Future Feliks said, standing up and walking over Present Feliks.

"I have something important to tell you. In 74 years, something terrible will happen. You won't know what it is right now but you will. Take this." he handed present Feliks a bottle that contained a pink liquid.

"W-What is it?" he asked nervously, holding the bottle tightly.

"I'll tell you. It's an Anti-Anti Meme drug. Like I said, you don't know what Memes are now, but they are a treasure to society. You will join this thing call The European Union that will ban them! This can not happen, when the time is right, make sure everyone person who has supreme power of a country gets at least a drop of this on them." Future Feliks explained, making sure Present Feliks understood all of it.

"But wait... Whatever these.... Meme things are... Why can't you just do it your time period? Wouldn't it be easier than traveling back in time to tell me to do it?"

"How I would have loved to do that!" Future Feliks exclaimed suddenly.

"Okay so the thing is. This stuff has an expiration date... And I couldn't do the thing before it became useless... SO I'M TRUSTING YOU! Me...? TO DO THE THING I COULDN'T DO." he then pushed Present Feliks away, though made sure he didn't drop the Anti-Anti Meme drug. That would suck because it took so long to make... Future Feliks then summoned his epic time-travel device and typed in a date. 

"Don't fuck it up!"

"Wait!" Present Feliks called out before his Future-self left. He turned back, confused.

"Can you tell me what Bitch Lasagna is?"

"Haha... You're already in a war. Fight one at a time."