severus snaoe has liven his life filled with pain and sorrow , until now , lilly and severus friendship is getting worse , with lily being friends with those vile humans he calls marauders, since the time lily got influenced by those marauders severus image on lily has gotten worse as days pass calling him greasy , pathetic , filthy and she called him useless since she can no longer gain anything from him , the memories they shared since they were 10 were sealed on the back of lily's brain ,
severus just sat there on his chambers staring into the table nearby ,severus blames himself for being stupid by saying the mudblood word to her lsst week , when he realized what he did wrong he was too late, lily was hurt, he saw her back turned running away from him , and since that day he tried to apologize but he only recieved a very painfull rejection, severus laid his back on his bed and curled his body as tears started to pour from his eyes
he was so stupid for saying those words, and now he was hated by the only one he calls a friend , " damn this , what is the purpose of me learning the defence against the dark arts without anyone to protect " severus grips his wand from his cloak pulling it closer , thinking wether to cast a spell to himself or not ,
severus has been in love to lily for so long since the first time he met her 'till now, so severus will try to apologize two more times and if that didn't succeed then he has no choice but to do it, he will erase his own memories, he wanted for this guilt and pain to go away ,
severus has known that he is a half blooded prince and her mother having a blood of prince is good enough ,severus is the last of their kind the lost heir of prince
he only had three hours of sleep making him feel tired , severus slowly made his way to the bathroom looking at the mirror , he looks worse than the bloody baron , dark circkes around the eyes and swollen eyes , damn he tought to himself is this still severus? he looks at the clock and see it was 7:30 in the morning he still has 30 minutes before breakfast starts and he takes this chance to wait for lily infront of the gryffindor tower , severus took his books from the table and hastily runs downstairs to the hallways until he arrives infront of the gryffindor door he waited there and waited , some students left the common room and then he finally saw lily walking with her girlfriends , " lily ,please talk to me " severus plead to lily looking all crazy holding her hand some girls looks at her with disgust
" oh snape , can you just stop you are just humialating yourself ." lily sneers at severus and forced herself out from severus grasp ," pls i came here to appologize, i didn't mean all of it please " severus cries thankfully only few girls lily and her friends are the only ones occupying the hallways on the moment
" oh yes keep trying you won't get any acceptance from me, and enough of this i still have somewhere to go to with my friends." lily coldly says as she walks aways , severus just stood there cannot say a single word , if lily just knows how her words is affecting him so much , severus fixed his hair slowly , he walks back to his chambers locked it and sat on the nearby chair ,
" i must try later after dawn when no one is around" severus said to himself , he pulls a quill out and wrote on the empty paper that was laying on the table neatly
Dear Severus Snape
if you do read this that means i have failed to apologize to the one i sincerely love , i might have erased the memories of her in the future but she will still stay in your/our hearts , that girl is the most precious in the world but the pain she created inside of me is far to unbearable to comprehend , she just wont accept my opology i must have hurt her pretty badly , the word mudblood is the most awefull word i had said to her and that probably take a toll on her life , as her bestfriend it is indeed very wrong of me to say those forbidden words
and if you indeed do read this letter of mine i sincerely say this ,she is the only and one person i love and i lost her because of my stupidity, even tho she said those hurtfull words to me i just cannot make myself hate her, please do protect her in secret even if it cost your life, her name is Evans, lily, the only woman i love even though she already like that filthy james.
Sincerely
yourself/ severus snape
he folded the paper carefully and placed it inside an envelope and put a seal on it that severus snaoe the only one able to open this letter and nobody else and neatly place it above the table ,
severus didn't attend any classes today and just stayed in his room , trying to get his piece of mind in solitary and peace , he tried reading the books that are stacked on top of each other but he just kept thinking of lily
and so dawn came severus finally got out of his humble place and wear his uniform and cloak , and waited for her infront of the gryffindor tower, he sat there and waited and waited and she finally arrived all by herself not expectibg to see him by the stairs , " lily please talk to me justvthis time and i will no longer bother you just hear me out " lily just looks at him coldly andd said " alright" " lily i didn't mean it the word please pardon me the paij just won't go away pleaee " severus cried hugging her tightly
" Let go severus, i won't accept your apology or anything in particular belongin from you , can you just shoo away with your imaginary friend " said lily trying to let go from his grasp ,
"i love you lily i really amm please " sverus cried and cried on her shoulder
" What a funny thing you said if internet is just available here i would have already took a video of your pitifull confession , i bet it would gain a million views in a day." lily said still laughingin pity
" sorry to break your bubbles but our relation is over , i no longer think of you as a friend." said lily pushing me harshly making me stumble on my feet i held his hands before he even fell , he stood up properly and pulled herand gave her peck a kiss on her lips and so then she pushed him and slapped her face with all the power she got and ran away " PERVERT i wish you rot in hell "
'lily please , " severhs plead but she didn't look back he slowly made his way back to his chambars and took off the cloak he is wearing whilst he held the wand tightly
he took of his shoes and laid his back on the soft bed
" damn this , " curling his body hokding the wand tightly
"obliviate" he said as he felt himself slowly feeling sleepy , for once he felt himself calm downn, all the memories came to him like thunder all of it untill there is no longer a picturee of her face in his memories , just then he fell asleep like a baby , and new but different memories came in exchange of the deleted memories,
in there he was alone, all the time with no one staying by his side , no one conforting him when there is a fight happening on his family ,
in that memory it made him into a different person a bully but intelligent human.
and so this is where his new life begun
