When I came to a stop, I stood there for a moment, breathing in the crisp air. I looked up, and found I was at the park. The one my parents used to take me to. I sat on the swing set, and set my bags down beside me. Eventually I began to drift into sleep. I took my purse, and felt around until I found it. The paper.
"What's it like to be all alone in the world?" I fell asleep, holding the wrinkled paper in my hand, clutching my bag to my chest.
"What does it mean to be alone?" I whispered as I closed my eyes, and slowly faded into unconsciousness.When I awoke the next day, I walked to school. I opened my locker, and there was another paper in it. I pulled the paper out and managed to shove the rest of the things into my locker. I unfolded the paper, and read it;
"What does it mean to be alone? What's it like being all alone in the world?"I turned to find Alex and her "posse" standing behind me again.
"Well, Amanda?" She said, her voice echoing through the now empty hallway,"What?"
"What do you want?" I asked, prepared to run away again...
"I want to know what it's like. What does it mean to be TRULY all alone in the world?What does it feel like?" Her enjoyment in my torture was evident, from the wicked glint in her eye to the evil smirk on her face.
"It's painful." I began. Her smile wavered slightly, not expecting me to answer.
"It feels like I have nothing. Like there's this-"I paused for a moment, trying to think of the right word,
"void. Like there's a void inside me, that will never be filled."
"It feels like I'm empty inside. It feels like I'm lost. Like my soul is just gone. It makes me feel like there's no point to living. Like I'm a waste of space. It makes me feel like no one will ever love me. Like no one understands. Like there's no one I can talk to, or trust." By now her smile had vanished, and she looked like she was going to cry.
"It feels like I'm never going to be happy."
"We had no idea..." One of Alex's followers whimpered. "Shut up!", Alexandria hissed. They all looked to be on the brink of tears."Alex?"She swung around to face me once more."Y-yeah?"
"I'm sorry."She began to cry silently. I already was.
"Wh- why the hell are you apologizing to me? I'm th-the one who w-was so mean..."
"I'm sorry for whatever I did that ended our friendship. If I was too clingy, or annoying, or-"
"No!! You were never..."
"And," I continued,
" I'm sorry for being such a waste of space. I'm sorry for being worthless... I should've tried harder to be a good person. To be one people liked. One people wanted to be friends with. I wouldn't have stayed if I knew you all hated me so much."
"Amanda-"
"Bye, Alex." I turned and walked away. I walked down the empty hallway. Out the front door.Back to my house. I could hear my parents yelling inside. I threw open the door. My parents looked up in surprise, but only for a moment. My father had a knife in his hand. He went back to yelling. He lunged for my mother. I jumped between them, and immediately felt a sharp pain in my stomach. My father looked at me. His jaw dropped, and he quickly backed away. I fell back, and my mother caught me. And they both just stared in shock. They didn't call a hospital. They didn't try to take the knife out. They didn't try to save me. I felt my mother slowly sink to the floor, still holding me in her arms. We sat like that for a few minutes.Something wet hit my forehead. I looked up to see my mother, crying. Her head jerked up, and she glared at my father. I could hear her yelling, but it sounded so distant. So far away. I think she told him to call an ambulance. I could feel myself slipping away. I looked up at my mother once more. She was sobbing. I looked over to where my father was screaming into the phone. I watched him slam the phone down then run over to me. He fell to his knees and cried. I could hear him moaning, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry" Over and over. And it got more and more quiet. More faint. Until I couldn't hear at all. My vision continued to blur. Finally I'm free. Maybe I won't be all alone now. I smiled weakly as I closed my eyes, and drifted off, into the darkness.
