It comes in flashes. Hurts of thoughts and scenarios. I quick thought of maybe trying to talk to someone. Falling apart in front of someone who means the world to me. And then. Just turning away from me. Rejection. Rejections because of who I am what I look like. Because I am undesirable. Nothing about my body could ever be wanted, appreciated. And because I myself can't see why anyone could look at it. I myself am so disgusted by it that I curl up and cry. Crying for the loss of a love that I never had. Wanting someone to love me for me. And nothing else. I want to perfect I want to be desired. I want to be wanted.
