50 Shades Of Felix

The Great Escape

Hello? I haven't eaten for days?!" Felix screamed as his rusty chains attached to his wrists bound him to the dungeon wall. "Guards?! Help me!"

Felix sighed, hopelessly. He would never escape. He could always hear the ringing shouts of Edgar in his mind, over and over. As he yelled in pure agony, realizing that he would never feel joy again, Three ugly henchmen and one very attractive dyslexic dwarf trudged down the slimy stone steps down to the dungeon, facing Felix as he tried to lunge out to assault them. The tall one with the big nose, Brian Diver, spat on Felix's forehead, the saliva slowly dripping down his face and into his mouth. His spit wasn't as good as Edgar's. Ugh, Edgar. Felix thought that by shaking Edgar's hand and making the deal to take over the world together meant actually taking over the world, not being imprisoned in Edgar's dungeon forever while Edgar does whatever he does in his castle. He had to escape somehow.

"Eat this if you're so hungry, you big gay," Brian snarled, throwing down a bowl of dog treats in front of Felix's disgusted face. His putrid breath floated up Felix's nose, making him gag. Backpack Kid kicked his legs and Transgender Fergus slammed Felix's pounding head into his crotch.

"That'll teach you to keep quiet" They say in unison as they moistly walk back up the wet stone steps.

Alysha was the last to leave, and as she did, she gave him a look of sorrow, her brown eyes deep in emotion. Felix glanced back, looking pitiful as ever, and in a flash Alysha was running towards him and unbuckling the chains.

'Run, mahoday Pewdiepie. Run as far as you can, and don't look back. There is an exit on the first storey behind the orgy room. But be careful, as orgy is in process and you will have to sneak out quietly. Don't do anything stupid."

As soon as the gratitude started to sink in, Brian Diver yelled for her to come upstairs.

'Yes, Brian!" she gives him a final nod of good luck and glides up the steps.