unforgiving remembrance

this story is dedicated to the 3 of the most important people in my life. FallenRebel (kriss), Soullikeabird (megan), and tim. i'd dedicate it to more of my loved ones but  these are the ones this story belongs to.

AUGUST 23, 2010

it all started when high school began. Everything was fine and dandy. there were no problems, no reasons to hate life as it was. but then everything hit all at once. it was like being slammed into a brick wall, some force rams your face then body onto the pile of bricks and you feel bones crack and blood oosing from your only human skin. you don't know how it happend or maybe even the real reason why except that it's all your own fault.

i was only 12 when we moved from henderson to las vegas. not that far of a move but it really had an impact on my life. it was the summer between 6th and 7th grade. it's tuff moving schools when you already started middle school and you don't know anyone and you're usually the social outcast. all my friends told me to stay in contact but everytime i called they said they'd call back later but never did. eventually i just gave up. i flew through middle school making a couple of close friends who i now count as my sisters and my brothers. escpecialy this one girl named megan. i love her more than my own family. she's actually become my family and so has her dad, mom, and her brother (kindof). i count her as my own lil sister. i call her B-Jay after the blue jay (bird) because her soul reminds me of one. she's always so free and above everyone and she trys to take te weight of the world on her shoulders and fly but i won't let her. i want her to fly and be free. i also made lots of enemies but, that just can't be helped beause apparently i have a talent for annoying the living shit outta people who i hate, but hey .... everyone has to have a hobby.

so now that i'm about to start high school my family has been going through some emotionally upsetting changes. my father has been with a woman from work for 2 years now. i always thought something was of about her but i kind of just shrugged the crazy but not so crazy now idea off, but lately im noticing she's acting different. it's like she's an actress on stage wearing a mask and slowly her facade is cracking and crumbling but i'm the only one in the audience who notices and when i try to point it out i get silenced. my dad refuses to believe she does anything wrong.

i'm sorry i just started telling you part of my life story and you don't even know who the hell i am. i'm 13 and my birthday december 3rd, 1995. i'm going into 9th grade at Arbor view high school. i love music because i owe it my life. i'm trying to play guitar. i love to read, write and draw. i love to wear a lot of black and red and i have a dark personalitty. i'm a spaz and i enjoy it and anyone who thinks that's a bad thing well i say fuck you. i love the band My Chemical Romance (they are my heros) but i like a lot of other band like ozzy osborn, judas priest, danzig, papa roach, nightwish, sixx am, stratavarious, eminem, aerosmith, volbeat and tons more. so now you know a little about me. my name is mariah athena wiker and this is my story.