Jonghyun

From the Beginning

           Jonghyun and I were really close, but then I got taken away and had to live with my dad. I was very devastated, all I could do was worry if she was going to get hurt. I was right she did get hurtg in many ways. I was first at least 7 when i was practically put to child labor, cleaned everything in the house everyday. Do evryones laundry and put it away. Then on to eight sexually abused. Not going to go into details but, molestation. Then back to the child labor and between that i had gotten emotionally and verbaly abused. She (step mom) whas threatend to throw my head into a wall, told my dad that he might come home from work one day to a dead daughter. So glad that didn't happen. Then at nine to ten i was sexually abused again and well technacally this was my younger brother (step) and he moelested and raped me. Then I finally was able to see him again. I didn't tell him at first but I still had to live with my dad and at the time i was still getting  emotionally and verbally abused still but it was worse then. It continued then in fifth grade my step mom physically abused me the next day i returned to school with bruises  on my neck and all around my body. I got to visit Jonghyun and I kept hiding my neck. I evenyually noticed and said "Haeuel what are you hiding". So i showed him and he came next to me ( because we were in public ) so i could tell him what happened he took it to the police and they got a court case and he got emergency coustody of me, well, his family did. I was so hurt. Some people my say that the emotional and verbal abuses don't hurt, but they do. They actually can lead to mentle health and PTSD (Post Tramatic Stress Disorder) and well it can really hurt with what happens. Me and her shared a room i had to convince my mom that we can share a room. I'm happy we could because she would be in there every night anyway because she'll wake up having a panick attack or with a nightmare a scream to stop it all. I can usually wake up right when she does because i'm so used to it. I hate it I never get any sleep most of the time I can't even stay awake at school because i'm up all night. Jonghyun usually needs to stay up with me.

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I know this is short they will get longer and this part was a true all of this did happen to me maybe not with jonghyun but i mean he did know about this stuff . I'm sorry if this stuff has happened to anyone out there. I know it is very hard to go through. If this triggered any thing bad im so super sorry about that it was hard for me too but io feel that this story does need to happen.  

                                   -Kim Haeuel