"The Pain I Went Through" Hinata Shoyo x Reader

My Pain

Waking up is a pain.
There was no motivation.
I liked being alone.
I'm not isolating myself,
I just want space.
With time,
I can heal.
This is the only way
That the pain will go away.
High school will just be the same.
I haven't changed, neither will my life.
I don't need friends.
Friends only betray you.
Friends will spread rumors about you.
No need to make new ones.
Sadly, I'll have to pick up an extracurricular activity.
That involves interacting wth people.
I don't want to do that.
That makes me sick.
But it gives me extra credit.
I have to do it.
Even if I have to socialize.
I'll do it the least as possible.
Oh, how I wish studying and good grades were the only thing you need to have a high chance of being accepted.
I'm fine the way I am,
Extra club activities would just distract me.
Again.

I grew up with a rough childhood. I don't know where my real parents are. I was found on the outside of an orphanage. Maybe I was a mistake, and they just gave me up because they couldn't take care of it themselves. They took me in, but they were a bit harsh. Child labor occurred. Not done with your quota? Then no food or bed. I'd say it illegal, but at least I'm out of that trap. Someone took me in, but they disappeared on a grocery store trip. Apparently they died in a car crash because of an intoxicated driver. I was sad, but not really. I never got close with them. As for attending a school, no one talked to me because I had a visible scar on my hand. They said I looked deadly, and always excluded me out of their games. They made rumors that I beat up people and got that scar from fighting. But after transferring (I was sent back to the orphanage and found a new caretaker), my life got better. Except, I had to do things to make me accepted by the other kids. I covered up my scar with over sized clothing, and tried rubbing off as nice. I had a lot of friends; it made me feel whole again. I was happy, having friends to talk and sit with. Sadly, middle school came too fast and we all went to different schools. I didn't really see anyone at my old school anymore. Of course, I covered my scar on the back of my hand, sometimes with fingerless gloves. If anyone asked, I would say that I think they make me look cool. I kind of did like it. I had made new friends. They were so kind and accepting, and we'd talk everyday. They were kind of well known by the other students already, which was a perk because I made even more friends and more people being nice to me. I had no enemies or drama. I became so close with some of them, that I was comfortable enough to show my hand around without the glove. When I told them, they felt sympathy. It brought us closer together. Or so I thought.
The week after that event, I greeted some people, but majority of them ignored me. I walk up to my friends, but they stop talking and seemed to make up an excuse to walk away. I was confused. My stupid mind ignored it. I should've known that being friends with popular students would hurt me. No one talked to me, and if they were near me, they'd seem awkward and edge away. I would look at some of them, too. Some looked downright terrified, like they played with an ouija board and encountered a ghost. Some put on fake smiles, I could tell. At lunch, no one talked to me. If I walked pass, then they would pause and whisper. I still didn't know what happened. I sit alone there, barely eating. I was really anxious. What did I do? I tried thinking of anything I did that was scandalous, but I was stopped by someone. A boy was looking at me, and asked, "Hey L/N-san, are you okay? Did you hear what they're saying about you?". I shook my head. "I don't know why they're ignoring me. What did I do?". He replied with, "Sone rumors started going around about you. The things they said were pretty terrible. Do you want to know?". I froze. How terrible? I'm not sure if I could handle it, but I was curious. I nodded. "They said that you have a scar on the back of your hand, and that you got it from fighting and killing people. They made it seem totally believable, too. My friend came up to me and told me. He even said that if I were to mess with you, I'd be in the hospital in a heartbeat.". I couldn't believe what I heard. Only a few friends knew about my scar. They're the only ones who spread this. "I'll leave you alone for now." he said. He could tell I was panicked. I'm glad that there was one loyal person. Except that I never really talked with him. That was a one-time interaction. I ran to the bathroom and spent the rest of lunchtime in there. The rest of class, I became distant, and thought about why they did it. I never knew the true answer. I didn't participate in class discussions anymore. The only thing that kept me sane were my grades. They weren't a perfect 100 or impressive marks, but I usually would get at least over 95's for averages. I was happy that I could still contain all A's. I was relieved when school officially ended. I had peace. My caretaker and I still didn't communicate very much. Most of the time she was out. It was fine with me. I passed my finals tests with all A's in classes.
It was time to pick a high school. I could apply and qualify for some top level schools, but seats were already filled up with students. So I stuck with Karasuno, as that was the next best after my top picks applying for that I got accepted into. It definitely wouldn't matter what school I would go to, though. I'll still be ignored. Now, school is going to be much bigger. I plan to be alone majority of school hours. To this day, I still don't know why I have this will to live.