Letter from Xabi

397 9 4

by gerlonso

by gerlonso

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.

Some stay for a while and leave footprints in our hearts; and we are never, ever the same.

~*~

I'm not sure how I should start, but I think I should first say it was hard moving away.

It was hard moving away when I felt— feel that we could’ve done more. We should have done more. We had the potential, the squad, and the manager, to do more. We should have won the Premier League, we had it within our grasp, but it slipped through our fingers like sand, and we were unable to clinch it. We had been so close, I could almost taste it, feel it, but it wasn’t meant to be. It’s a shame, a shame that will forever live in me, that we couldn’t bring a tittle to the people of Liverpool. De que se lo merecen no hay duda.

I love Liverpool. I think I fell in love that first time I set foot in the city. I was a shy, wide-eyed kid who never dreamed of achieving what we did that year in 2005. I’d never dreamed of Istanbul. When we stood on that pitch, our hands were shaking, our breath catching. I never imagined we’d hold that trophy in our hands, holding it up for our Liverpool. It still brings a smile to my face, I remember every scream from you, every shot of pain as I willed my legs to run faster, tackle harder, every touch, every sound, every kiss, everything, absolutely everything is burned into my mind. After my mind has long forgotten what year it is, after it has forgotten my name, Istanbul will still be there, as bright and as clear as that day. That day when the stadium lights shone just for us. That day in which in a future generation, another wide-eyed child, will point to the pictures, and someone will tell them our name. Liverpool Football Club.

I knew he would tell me to leave, and I don’t think you can understand how hard it was for me to turn in that transfer request, and I don’t think you’ll ever know. No, of course not, you’re safe there. I thought I was too. To wake up one day and know that you’re leaving… I don’t ever wish that upon you. You feel torn in two. You feel like you’re betraying the people, the club that gave you so much, the very club that gave you existence. The club that made me the player, the person that I am today. The chances of ever returning to Liverpool are slim to none, can you even begin to fathom that? Be eternally grateful that you are where you are.

I have this longing to defend the LFC crest. It’s an ache I never did get rid of. I feel… sad, I guess you could say. Sad that I longer get to be part of that history, of that bond that holds Reds together. I’m no longer part of that family that I was so privileged, so honored to be a part of, and this saddens me greatly. Do you know how that feels? Do you? To be part of such a tight-knit group, and then have to leave? Yet every time you come back for a visit, they still welcome you with open arms, but you can’t get the full experience, because now you have nothing to offer them. I have nothing more to offer the people of Liverpool. I wish I could, I wish I could give them, give you, the world, God knows it’s well-deserved.

Home is where the heart is, and I left my heart in that little city in England. Spain is my country, and I will always love it, give anything for it, as much as you would for yours. Madrid has my people, my language. I had no trouble settling in, and the transition was smooth. Yet, I can’t figure out what it’s missing, because it just doesn’t have the right feel, not like Merseyside. I know Liverpool like the back of my hand, every single street, nook and cranny. Liverpool is simple, easy, comforting. Madrid is…busy, yet it’s much more quiet here. Bernabeu is nothing like Anfield. I’m not saying that it’s terrible… it’s just different. The sounds are different. Here you know when the people disapprove; they voice it, to be known. At Anfield, it’s more like a murmur. It’s a murmur, a very expressive one, just as powerful, as the full-on screams heard here. Much more filled with passion. They celebrate goals differently here too. The words are different, the songs are different. It’s not the same, I think you can see that.

Time has flown by quicker than I ever thought it could. I’ve won a league with Madrid, it’s a joy I tell you. To know that you’ve worked so hard for a full season, sweat, blood, and tears, and then finally at the end, you get this trophy, this recognition that in the country, you are the best, there are no others better than you. I want to share that experience with you, with Liverpool. I have unfinished business, one that I hope with every ounce of my being, that I get to complete. I need to finish what we started.

- Xabi Alonso

~*~

Sometimes we win, but sometimes we lose our dreams, but I always wear the colours of your team.

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