Before us

First time

"I can't stop thinking about you.
Sometimes, it's s the greatest
feeling and other times, it breaks
me down. Everything I do, I find
a little you in it. Even if it takes
me eternity to figure out, you're
always there. Every touch, every
feeling, reminds me of you. The
constant dreams and imagines I
continually have; you quench my
happiness, the one thing I always
seek but can never find. And
when l see you, it brings me
great joy. You make me happy in
ways nobody, not even I can
explain. But it pains me so
deeply . For I can't have you . The
thought of me and you is
inevitable . "-this is the last time i talked to her
Military schools are not the best place to spend your college, especially if you are a man who likes freedom, I chose this about 2 years ago and things were not nearly as I expected. I thought it will be the college life I saw in the American movies and I did all kinds of scenarios in my head, "parties and much fun", but I lived the opposite, a monotonous, boring life in which nothing seemed to be able to get me out of that.
I was simply sictired.I expected everything to end with the thought that maybe after that it will be better.I thought that I will meet other people and there will be many more opportunities.My only activities were the courses and going to the gym. I was a pretty boy and I can not say that I look bad, after all, the sport nourishes the body and keeps it healthy.
At that time I had my hair painted blonde because I thought it was worth it, especially since it was the first and last time I could try this, I did't regret the idea, it was a welcome change.
What I did not know at that moment was the fact that life would surprise me and give me the chance to have a truly memorable story from the college, a story I would not have thought of and probably none of us would do it, and yes, it's like you see in the movies, but it was my story, I lived without having scenarios and written replies, I went into the movie without wanting and I could not get out of all that.It's sure that the ideal actors were chosen because in our lives we needed an exit from everything we knew, we needed to be surprised by the unknown and taken to a point where we did not recognize ourselves.Where is the person I was before?Where is the person she was before? How could we have left everything that we have morally built so easily and go with our eyes wide open to something so fragile and uncertain?
Of course, every beautiful thing in life comes with a price you have to pay. It is the law of balance, it gets on the side, but you take another.

It was November, a cold evening at the end of the autumn finds me in front of the pavilion with a classmate discussing all sorts of subjects and "enjoying" a cigarette. Among our discussions we get to the point followed by him, namely the exchange of a service. Normally I would not have accepted the fair because it did not bring me any advantage but just a headache, but at that moment I did, I said I would help him although I didn't understand why, but still my answer was yes. I lit a new cigarette and stood thinking about the next day and imagined it to be a shit, after all, who likes to be a man servant?
Staying in the smell of the food for a whole day, going around and doing what's going through the heads of the ladies there was't the best thing i could do in that day.
I learned to get here and that's the reward I receive? we all think the same, but we do not have a word to say so we execute the orders.
That november day comes quickly and I walked sleepy to the kitchen where I knew it would be a long day. Of course I was late because I can never wake up in time. When i arrived there I was looking for SSB ( students of 4th year of law school, which theoretically were better ranked than us) to write my name in a table, I look around and no sign of SSB .Over not long time there was a girl and I was already embarrassed couse i was late.I looked up at her, and for a second we were stuck both.

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