I Understand Now (Ricky Dillon Fanfiction)

Chapter 19

School again. I am not looking forward to putting up with Sarah's rudeness, nor am I looking forward to the inevitable awkwardness between Jen and me. Either that or she'll try to kill me. I can't decide which one would be worse.

I am almost instantly met by Sarah's cold gaze as I enter the school through the back gate. Normally she would be looking at me with an evil smirk. Today she is just glaring at me. I sigh when I reach her.

"What do you want?" I ask. I'm surprised she doesn't say something about me having attitude.

"You were awfully rude to Jen the other day," she scolds. I roll my eyes.

"You're seriously taking her side on this one?" I raise my eyebrows. "I didn't do anything I shouldn't have done. You were the one who turned her against me. This is all your fault. Everything's your fault!"

"Will you stop taking it out on me?" Sarah asks, placing one hand on her chest. "You brought this upon yourself. All you had to do was help Jen with her feelings, like a good friend. But no, you had to fake like you didn't know what to do, and poor Jen didn't know this until I told her. Really, you should be thanking me."

"I didn't tell her that I could help her because she would eventually find out about Ricky and me! Well, she did anyway, thanks to you. I thought she'd go crazy if I told her, because of what's happened. But she hates me now. Thanks, Sarah. Just thanks."

I shove past her before she can make another snide comment. I hear her gasp as I bump into her shoulder, but I don't care. She got what she deserved, because neither Ricky, Jen nor I deserve to be messed with like that.

I arrive at my locker and sort out my stuff, still annoyed at Sarah for what she said. At first I'm startled when I feel someone's arms snake around my waist, but I smile when I realise who it must be.

"Someone's in a bad mood," Ricky murmurs in my ear. I turn to make eyes contact with him.

"It's fine," I assure him. "I just got kinda caught up with Sarah, that's all."

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asks. He gently presses his lips against mine before I can respond. People are probably walking past and looking at us weirdly, so I pull away and smile.

"I am now," I tease, and Ricky laughs.

"That's my Ellie," he says. My heart leaps at the way he just called me 'his' Ellie, like I belong to him. I want to belong to him, and I want him to belong to me. He is mine, and I am his.

He lets go of me and heads to his locker. I'm finished with mine, so I close it and wait for Ricky. As if on cue, Jen arrives and walks towards her locker. She ignores Ricky and scowls at me.

"I'm not talking to you," she snaps. Well, you just did, I can't help but think to myself, and I stifle a laugh. I glance over at Ricky, and he seems to be thinking the same thing. Luckily, Jen is so caught up in an I'm-ignoring-you state of mind that she doesn't notice our exchange.

"Whatever," I reply just to spite her, and she glares, but not at me. I walk past her before she can do anything, and Ricky takes my hand as we walk down to the library together. Once we're sure Jen is out of earshot, we let go of the laughter we held in earlier.

"She looked so huffy!" Ricky exclaims, and I can barely reply from laughing so hard, so I just nod. Once we both calm down a little, we just look at each other.

"You know, I never thought we'd get to this point," I admit.

"Me neither," Ricky agrees. "When we had that first class together, and you said you were afraid of falling in love, I couldn't really understand you that well. I thought you'd just said 'afraid of falling'. I didn't really realise what the last part was until later on, and I often heard people talk about you. Don't listen to them, Ellie. They just wanna get to you."

"I've been putting up with them since before you came here," I inform him. "Believe me, I've been bullied more than you can imagine, Ricky. People ridiculing me because of my opinion and feelings about a topic that's the centre of most people's lives. And I wish I could tell you that that fear is gone because of you, but I really can't. I love you, and I want to be with you. But I'm scared. Really I am. I trust you, but I don't wanna get hurt."

"I know you're scared," Ricky surprises me by saying. "I want to help you get over that fear. I know it's not gonna be easy, but I'm willing to take that risk for you. Because I love you." He steps towards me and plants a kiss on my forehead. "A couple of days ago when we met at Third Wave, you told me you were ready for the adventure. Are you?" I stare into his eyes and think about this for a moment. Am I ready? I've never done anything like this before. I inhale and exhale deeply.

"Yes," I confirm. Then I break out into a grin. "Yes, I am," I repeat. Ricky smiles and pulls me towards him into a hug.

"I love you," I murmur against his chest.

"I love you too," Ricky replies, and I giggle at the way his voice vibrates against my cheek.

...

"Mum, please! Why are you being so judgemental all of a sudden?"

"Better to be safe than sorry, honey. I don't want you risking it."

"I'm willing to risk it for him," I insist. "I know I can trust him. I'm sure of it."

"How can you be so sure?" Mum asks. "You barely even know him."

"I've known him for over a week now!" I exclaim. "In case you haven't noticed, I spend every single weekday with him. It's you that barely owns him. How can you be so sure that he's a player?"

"All guys are players these days," Mum scoffs. "You can't trust anyone anymore. All guys look for these days is girls with big boobs and loads of makeup. I bet you just want to be with this Ricky guy because you think he's hot." I stare at her in disbelief.

"That's not true!" I retort. "Ricky is the only guy that actually understands me, and wants me to get over my fears. All the the other guys avoid me because of how I feel, but not Ricky. He's willing to help me out because he loves me."

"Says he loves you," Mum corrects. "Those three words don't have to mean anything if the person saying them doesn't want them to."

"It's not just about what he says to me," I inform her. "He's done so many incredible things for me that not one single other person, let alone guy, has done for me before. I know he's different, just by looking at the way he acts around me. He actually gets me, Mum. No one else at my school does, they just bully me because I'm 'the girl who's afraid of love'. If he was a player, he probably would've just hit on me and asked for my number the first time he met me. But do you know what he did the first time he met me? He asked me to help him out, because he trusts me. I don't see any reason I shouldn't trust him." I fold my arms and scowl at her as she seems lost for words.

"I'm just trying to protect you," she finally says. "I don't want to see my only daughter get hurt. If you want to be in a relationship with him, then go ahead. But don't say I didn't warn you."

"Didn't say anything," I shrug, and head off to my room.