Motivation.
Something that helps people get up in the morning.
Motivation is sometimes a struggle, even for the trivial reasons. Its something that people gain and lose so easily. Something people have to work hard for.
For me, I remember a time I felt like I had the world on my shoulders. I could motivate myself to get out of bed in the morning, or make something for breakfast. I remember being able to get excited about new things, or being able to feel happy practicing things I love. I felt motivation to do something with my life.
I wish I could gain the motivation back.
For a while, it got to a point where I couldn't get out of bed. There was no reason.
I had felt like I lost everything.
I had felt like there was nothing waiting for me outside of my bed. I felt like I had nobody rooting for me to get up anymore. Nobody was waiting for me on the other side. I felt most comfortable in a place I recognized, a place to put the word home.
You see, the past year or so my motivation has come in clumps. I have a bad habit of putting my motivation in a single person, and letting my mind always wander into the reasons of them needing me to get up. Its not a healthy way to live life, but it worked for a while. For the past year, sometimes I could wake up, and get straight out of bed. I could get ready, wash my face. Eat breakfast. Live my life.
Other days, it wasn't so easy.
I'm still trying to work on finding motivation. I feel like I'm in a slump, and always try to force my way out. Maybe I could just let it pass.
Its hard, because I don't entirely know where to look for motivation, or where it comes from. If you shouldn't base it in a person, where do you find it? Where can you place yourself to come to the realization that maybe there is a reason to get up, or someone waiting for you?
Motivation is something I need to continue to work for. Something to keep a steady view on.
I hope you all find some type of motivation.
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mo·ti·va·tion
noun
the general desire or willingness of someone to do something.
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Night Thoughts
PoetryThoughts that keep me up at night // writing to help me keep track of my head :)