Speak now

Prologue

As I walked down the street towards the chapel, people's hurried footsteps and their usual morning chatter reached my ears. With each passing step, pain shot up from my thighs and went directly into my head. I could already feel my feet being in much more pain the longer I walked. The chapel wasn't that far anyway.

The elegant facade of the chapel appeared in front of me. The building, as it was for years now, was a sight of simple elegance. The white paint was starting to crumble, showing the grey-colored walls underneath. These walls I knew; stood as testaments for the countless years people, old and young, has spent witnessing weddings, baptisms, and funerals within its confines. Flowers were blooming near the windows; their sweetness leisurely assaulting my nostrils as I passed them, I felt something slowly dripping on my face, taking a handkerchief from my bag, I wiped the sweat off my forehead and stood for a while, taking deep breathes and regulated my breathing. From the walk, I just took or for preparation for what I was about to witness I'm not quite sure.

Taking a step inside, I noticed a few people were already sitting in the pews, talking in loud voices, mouths opening and closing so fast that I wondered if they even needed air to live. I walked down the aisles deciding where to sit. Front or back? I asked myself. Near the front of the altar, numerous unfamiliar faces looked at me for a second with disinterest before looking away just as fast. Some were more curious though, their gazes lingering on my skin. Those people must have been close to him, I thought. They recognized me, either as the chubby obsessed classmate or the weird kid who hang around the groom back in their teenage days.

My eyes scanned for familiar faces, I saw beautifully arranged flowers plastered everywhere, providing splashes of vibrant colors in contrast to the muted bare walls. Children were running with each other; their shoes clacking on the marble floor, laughter erupted from their mouthes and filling the room with their joy. An elderly woman stood up, back straightened with her chin up, went to the children. Scrambling with fear, they immediately came back to their parents. Silence reigned for a while as mothers scolded their children with hush tones. But it was for a very short time as adult chatter and mindless gossips filled the room once more. A couple was whispering to each other on another pew, hands clasped together and lovely smiles were exchanged, I suddenly felt a wave of envy rolled over me. I turned my head away from the couple, not wanting to subject myself to that kind of torture.

I heard a baby cry, somewhere near me, Instinctively, my head followed the noise and there I saw him. Near the window, Zac Smith looked dashingly handsome in a black tux. Green eyes sparkling against the sunlight. His sister stood next to him, both having the same bright hair their family was known for. I stared at his lips, how the ends were tugging upwards to form a smile so beautiful, my breath hitched. I forgot how it looked like after so many years of not seeing him. But my mind remembered the way he used to smile when we were together, and how it would make me feel so proud of myself that I could make him feel that way. I guess, there are a lot of things I made him feel, some of which I regret. Closing my eyes, I tried to swallow the guilt that was slowly making its way up again into my head. Allowing that to happen will destroy the very reason I wanted to attend this wedding in the first place.

The night I got the invitation to his wedding, I just got home from the studio, with my clothes splattered with paint. I opened the door into my apartment, hands sore and stiff from painting too long, carried a pile of letters and boxes just delivered at my mailbox. Browsing through each letter, I find the most common ones, letters from my grandmother and a bill from the electric company. Just before I could decide to open them tomorrow, I saw the name I tried hard to forget in the past two years. With shaking hands, I went into the kitchen, took a small knife and hurriedly opened the letter. Almost instantly, my nose was overwhelmed with the smell of sweet roses. A wedding was happening on the 8th of July between the man I have only loved and a woman who I have never o heard of.