The Diary Of The Weak: My Journal

6:58-7:16 #15

Suprise! I'm back! And I've got major drama for you to hear about...

I've got good news and bad news. I'll go with good first...

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! Yes, it is true, I have a boy that actually finds me attractive! And yes it is VERY suprising to me considering I look like something that crawled out of a sewer hole full of shit and rodents.

The bad news is...

I cut again today.

I know, I know, I should NEVER do it. But tonight I just felt so...blegh. I didn't feel myself and no one whatsoever was there that I could take to. So I took a knife and made a small cut across my thigh. And don't worry about me, it wasn't deep enough to leave a scar. And I don't want any comments saying "I'm dissapointed in you", or some shit because I regret it COMPLETELY and I will try my hardest to stay strong and keep away from self harm. The bad thing about it is that I'm going to a sleepover full of girls this weekend and I have to wear shorts...around a girl who KNOWS I self harm. FML.

Anywho, back to the whole boyfriend thing. So, I've liked this boy for a VERY long time and I've been in love with him for a VERY long time. I've dated him for a year and a half before and let me just say that those were the happiest days of my life. He made my feel special, wanted, loved. And honestly, that's all I really needed at that time. His name is Zackary and he is one of the dorkiest boys I know. But if you knew me outside of this little virtual world we call the Internet, you would know that I love dorky boys. They are so cute and sweet and it makes me so happy. Another thing about him is that he always knows the right things to say. He constantly reminds me of how beautiful and amazing I am (even though I don't believe it most times) and I can't help but smile. I love him so much and even if we don't last forever like in those fairy tale stories, he will always have a special place in my heart. <3

I AM UPDATING TONIGHT! STTC and RM will be updated either tonight or tomorrow! I'll try my best to do it all tonight, but I'm not promising anything. I'm sorry I haven't been on in forever, school has been really hard on us this year with homework so I have a very limited schedule. Well, I better go. Dinner's almost ready and I'm starving. Love you beauts! Stay strong, stay beautiful. <3