Why... (voltron angst)

Klangst: It's my fault, it's always been my fault!

Hey, sorry its been 5ever, but anyways, im back. love ya now and 5ever.

Tw: suicide notes, implied suicide.
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I thought for sure that someone would have noticed. Noticed I wasn't eating, notice I was always in either my room or training. I wanted to think you all cared about me. And i noticed when all of you were down, but you didn't give a fuck a bout me. It's not your fault, though. If one day you did notice, you asked if I was okay, i said "I'm fine..", and you walked off. Like i was nothing. Like i didnt matter. I thought maybe i dont matter then. Yeah, why in hell would i matter to a bunch of perfect people? Why was i picked to be a palidan? The red lion could have done so much better that this. Maybe she can now that you're reading this. Lance, maybe you're right. I did run away, and I should have just stayed away. But, I guess that wont be a problem, now will it? I thought it was funny, it was funny how you guys said you cared about me. It was hilarious when I found out you were lying. But it's not your fault. I did this myself. How? By not caring, being cared about. Not listening, not talking. I guess this is my way of thanking team Voltron for helping put me out of my misery.. And if im being honest to whatever god exists.. this wasn't your fault, never will be, never was in any reality. It was my fault. My fucking fault! I could have done better. I could have been better, You could have had better. But I don't mind that you forgot me. I hope you would notice if im dead, because then you would think its your fault or that I truly am weak. If you had noticed I was hurting. You just might of cared. You might have just fucking cared enough to help me, but no. No, none of you fucking cared.

-Keith Kogane.

.......

Almost a year ago I lost someone that at the time, I had no idea I even loved. I shouldn't have ignored him. Now that I really think of it, I can only imagine how much I hurt him. When i look back, i can see all the times we ignored him, and yelled at him, and left him out. I remember him acting off, and he wasn't eating... I just though maybe he wasn't hungry. I wish I would have fucking asked him if he needed help. I shouldn't have just walked away, I should have made him tell me the truth. I don't know why I did that. I don't really know why I made fun of him, or why I yelled at him. I still hate myself for saying he should have just stayed away from us. He didn't deserve that. He deserved love and support and friends. Damn it, I wish I would have made it more clear he was someone I cared for. I wish I would have fucking made him feel better! It's my fault he's dead, it's always been my fault! I hate myself so much because I let this happen! I can't take it, I can't do this anymore. It's time for me to go, because I can't handle knowing it's my fault for his death! I can't I can't I can't! I'm sorry, I really am...

-Lance McClain