The First

I'm wide awake

Yeah, I was in the dark

I was falling hard

With an open heart

I'm wide awake

How did I read the stars so wrong

I'm wide awake

And now it's clear to me

That everything you see

Ain't always what it seems

I'm wide awake

Yeah, I was dreaming for so long-

-Katy Perry (Wide Awake)

We are young, the time is of no essence and you don't realize how I feel. You were the love I never knew. You were the first butterflies in my stomach, the first nervous laughter, the first blush and the first feeling of being lifted up whenever we spoke. (We could fly above the sky, up, up, up into the clouds). You were different, you laughed when no one else did, you weren't shy and you didn't care what others thought of you. Even more, you were the one who taught me how to be myself. Maybe the sun didn't always shine on us, or I wouldn't see you for days...but for me, none of that mattered.

It is dark now and we are still up late talking about dreamless nights. You tell me about dull rhymes and childhood times, when you would dream of countless waking days. You were happy. Me? I was amazed. The way you spoke as if every single word was a promise, the way your eyes would suddenly change and the way you looked at me. I wasn't just a fad, or a sudden crush...I was someone who would listen. In the end, dreamless nights became filled with hopes of something more, and even if you didn't know it...you gave me happy endings.

Would we ever last? I don't even know what we are, but for now, I would do anything to keep us as we are. No hesitations, no worries, just us. Maybe you don't know who you are, maybe you never will. All I know now is that this is okay. And if it isn't, I'll lift my head high and close my eyes. I'll be able to say goodbye to the love I never knew. Because that's what you helped me realize, when I open my eyes again, I'll be able to start over. So thank you, because maybe this isn't real love, but whatever it is, it's specialspecialspecial, and you were the first.