A TIME TO PRAY
I'd convinced myself it could never happen again. Wishful thinking, I always fall for an unavailable woman at an available time. Damn it. No willpower. I tried to ignore her but my resistance proved futile. She smiled at me once, I pretended not to see her. She smiled at me once more and the game was over. I liked her from the start, I realised right away she could be dangerous, but I guess I couldn't help myself.
So, we got together for awhile. Nothing serious, so I'd thought but she'd become familiar, comfortable, useful.
She had to powder her nose, left me alone at the bar. My inner voice pleaded with me to make my getaway, flee for safety..Ah, what the heck, I ordered another couple of drinks just in time for her return. Besides, if I was gonna leave her, I'd have hit the road long ago. I guess she's a keeper, for now anyway.
Inner voice now silenced, she'd broken through all my defences. I was defenceless, helpless, hopeless. God help me.
Lesson number 1 : Remember, you can trust in.yourself about as much as you can trust in a whore.
PRETTY ANGELS & DIRTY COCKTAILS
As soon as I accepted one more drink I knew I was in trouble. I cursed myself, but what good would that do, the damage was done already. It was just so recklessly careless of me, when I'd been so careful, so disciplined, until that moment. I couldn't blame her, how could I ? Sure she was cute but she was no beauty and she was not a distraction. I was confident, I had to be. But I was cocky, I was vain, I was a dumbarse.
And then I had another drink, and another, and another ..... Maybe, when you reach a certain state of inebriation, when you lose your inhibitions, surrender your self-control, and immerse yourself into that ultimate sense of euphoria, which would also be familiar to junkies, maybe it's the closest you ever get to a complete acceptance of everything ; life, death & beyond. You can certainly feel carefree, the life & soul of every party, you realise just how funny you can be,when everyone else just sees a sizzled jerk.Such a shame that all you have to show for it the next dayis the mother of all hangovers.
Lesson Number 2 : The only thing more irritating than a smartarse is a dumbarse.
GLAD I'M STILL ALIVE, SORRY YOU'RE NOT
who could say how long I'd been out of it. I was drugged & dumped, lucky to be alive, I guess. Felt like my head couldn't have hurt worse, even if he'd connected with his baseball bat. My frazzled mind fought to unscramble the hotchpotch of images & sounds that swirled around inside my head, Boy, my head really hurt, it's like my brain is thumping against my skull, rebuking me for acting without thinking. I desperately struggle to focus, I'm not so concerned about what I've forgotten as I am about what I cannot remember. And what I cannot remember is how I ended-up in her bed, beside her. It didn't surprise me that she was dead.
I recall that she wasn't happy last night. She appeared melancholy, depressed even. She kept mumbling mumbo-jumbo to me, someting about risks, danger, death. That's right, she got all seriously morbid on me and I didn't like it at all. I was always the miserable one and it was her job to cheer me up, take care of me. But suddenly she was no fun at all. Perhaps now I'm beginning to see she may have had a point.I just had to figure out exactly what that point was. I couldn't take my eyes off her, she looked so peaceful af if she was only resting. She even seemed prettier than ever before. It was surreal.
Lesson Number 3 : Go home together, wake-up together, 'cos spooning with a corpse sucks.
A TIME TO PLAN
So now I had a score to settle. I was keen to get started but I knew I'd be a fool to rush in. Had to get my head straight. I didn't have a clue what they wanted, or even who they were, but I figured if I could somehow get to it first. And I remembered something that she'd said to me. I can picture the scene now, it was just after we'd kissed. She looked frightened, I embraced her. Tears appeared in her eyes, I wiped them away just as they'd start run down her cheeks. "He'll never let us get away with this", I remember now clearly, those were her exact words, "He'll never let us get way wth this". But what was "this" and who is "He" ?
