Sad Supernatural Imagines :'(

Bloodbath (Part 2)

(5 days later)
Sam's POV
I've seen things that people would pay a fortune to forget.
I used to pity those people.
I found them weak.
Now I pray.
I beg for a fortune, or any stroke of luck at all.
Truthfully, I don't deserve it.
I don't deserve sleep, or to be alive when she isn't.
It's not right.
No twin should have to watch their twin burn on a pile of sticks.
The worst part is that we barely had a corpse to say goodbye to.
Whatever was left of her was unrecognizable.
I would know.
She had my face.
I can't even think about her for too long without gagging on the image.
Going on without her feels like a mistake.
Park was all I really had growing up.
She was, quite literally, my other half.
When dad took Dean away to hunt, Park and I played in cramped motel rooms, relying on each other's creativity to stop from reaching peak lunacy.
Eventually, my mind was gone, but her's stayed, and a part of me knows that she remained stable just for me.
Parker's sanity was all I had left of my own.
I'm running on empty with no place to park.
"Sam? Hey, I'm making a run-"
Alcohol...we were fresh out.
It's a staple in this household.
Ten glasses a day keeps the nightmares away.
"You need anything?"
I creep out of bed to open the door, revealing the unshaven and unbathed thing I became.
It had only been a week, but given recent events, It felt like a hundred years.
"Yeah. Just bourbon."
Dean stares me down, his soul filled to the brim with pity, and disgust.
"Take a shower, man."
He places a firm hand on my shoulder, and squeezes, giving me the false hope that I unfailingly got whenever he tried to help.
It always resulted to nothing, but it gets me up.
I take a shower, and its a good shower.
My mind goes quiet as I hold my head under the stream.
The thumping of the water against my neck makes me feel numb.
It is so close normal, just almost.
As I finish getting dressed, I begin to feel sick and empty again.
I can feel something like fear and agony, or maybe last nights whiskey, creeping up my throat, and I break for the restroom.
I start to viciously throw up until I'm left violently shaking and sobbing, with no other option but to crawl into my bed and suffocate my cries into a pillow.
"Get up, Samuel."
-
I shoot out of bed and stare at the person in front of me.
My hands have gone cold, and I feel like I could faint, because it has to be a dream.
It can't be real.
"P-Parker?"
I ask as I question all reality, and the integrity of the world around me.
It feels as if the floors should cave beneath me, or that stars should shoot through the ceiling.
That would make more fucking sense than what I'm looking at.
There is no explanation for why or how she should be standing in front of me.
We salted and burned everything that was left of her.
It was impossible.
"Hey, champ. Surprised?"
I nod gently.
"Yeah, I figured you would be. Sit."
I oblige, only because I'm in an absolute state of shock, and sit down with her.
Trying desperately to pay less attention to the cold, it radiates off of her.
"So, I'm dead-"
She doesn't look truly dead, just tired, and dehydrated.
I almost felt like getting her something to drink, like that would make her less dead.
"Yeah...I got that."
"Would you let me finish?"
I hush, not knowing what kind of spirit she's become, and not wanting to trigger something I shouldn't.
"Yes, I am dead, and I've been watching you guys for a while."
She gestures to herself.
"This is actually taking up just about all the strength that I have. So, I can't talk for long."
My mind races with things to say.
Anything, just to make up for lost time.
"I have a million things I need to say to you...Can I...Can I touch you? I've missed you. Deans missed you. It feels like I'm miss-"
She grabs me and pulls me right into her.
She's freezing to the touch, but nothing has felt warmer inside than being with her.
It feels real, too damn real. It's almost painful.
I grip the flannel she's wearing in my fist, the one she died in, the one that was sitting somewhere unknown, probably torn to shreds.
I feel the fabric my face is buried in become damp, and I realize that I'm crying.
"That cut you down on time."
She chuckles as she releases me, and the cold returns.
"Worth it."
I smile along with her, trying to grip and hold every spare second that I'm having with her.
"Park? Do you remember?"
She nods faintly, and her eyes become distant.
Her face was what Dean's face looks like when he's asked about hell, or mine when I'm asked about being possessed, and our dad's when he was asked about our mother.
"I do. I remember it all. I know all of that pain that you have going on in there."
She says sorrowfully, touching the side of my head and getting me to look at her.
One of her hands gripped the front of her shirt, as if she was holding back her pain so that there was room for mine.
"You're not alone, Sammy. I will always hurt with you. But, I need you to breathe again. Live for me. Stop killing yourself for something you couldn't have controlled. Something you couldn't have stopped."
She took a shovel and dug deep into the part of myself that I layer with dirt and iron.
"It shouldn't have to be this way, Parker."
I shout, pain hurdling itself out of my chest so viciously that I can't control my volume.
I cannot control anything anymore.
"Well, in this version of our story, it does."
She grabs my hands gently, and tears start to form in her eyes.
I now remember that I would rarely see Parker cry as a child.
She was always tougher than me.
Our tears synchronize as they slowly trickle down our faces, but I can barely keep myself from sobbing.
"Sam there is something that I need to tell you. Something that I need to tell you both. But, I'm running out of time."
Dread fills my chest.
"No, not yet. Please, not yet."
I panic as my hands drop through hers, she was falling weaker.
"I'll be back. I promise. Hold on to me, Sam, don't let me go just yet, okay?"
I watched helplessly as her image faded away, and screamed as hard as I physically could.
I hold my hands in the same position, trying to feel what isn't there anymore.
-