Chapter 19 - Destiny My Gaga
Eduardo dropped me off at the "Duck Drunk" to say my goodbyes to Monika. I was so sad to be leaving Monika, but I knew it was the only to keep her safe.
“Monika I’m leaving you, but before I go let us have a drink, after all you are the alcoholic none-abusive mother I never had. Cheers, table and stools too!!”
“You do know my name is Dawid, and I’m a man. Don’t you?”
“Dawid? Your name is Dawid? When did this happen?”
“It’s always been Dawid, Dawid Szczerbanowski”
“No wonder I forgot it, there’s no way I could ever remember that, not even sober. From now on let just stick with Monika shall we?”
From out of nowhere a bottle of Ultra Premium Tequila Pasión Azteca! This was considered the Holy Grail of all premium tequila drinks, the 6 year aged Ultra Premium Tequila Pasión Azteca contains one hundred percent blue agave and is recorded in the Guinness World Record for the most expensive bottle ever sold, EVER!! It began floating over my head, all $3.5 million dollars of it.
Teasing me in its shell shaped bottle, I slowly reached up for it but, the bottle moved gently away like a leaf on a breeze. Well I wasn’t having any of that. I grasped for the bottle and then it ran out of the door leaving me crying as I followed it out and into the back off an open van, and then it was mine, ALL MINE!! I was kind of aware the van door had closed be hide me but I didn’t care as I basked in the glory of the shiny Tequila bottle.
Only a bottle of Ultra Premium Tequila Pasión Azteca should be drank slowly, carefully savoring the taste of $3.5 million a bottle, like you were going to make love to it, but being me, I downed it in one. And then everything went black.
I groaned as I woke up; head groggy with Tequila I tried to take stock of my situation. I was in a cage, with some sort of he-she. I looked down at myself. My god-what had they done to me! I WAS BLONDE! NOOOOO! I was naked, my dignity with wrapped in electrical tape that was sticky and Chaffey. I knew I had a lot of make up on, as I could smell my own face... After a few moments of horrified realisation I became aware the fat one was talking to me;
“Beyonce? Is that you? Where am I?"
Thunder thighs weren’t looking too good herself. Apparently her fragile mental state that had qto recreate a band had shattered like a mirror being exposed to Sarah Jessica Parker. She had a telephone in her hand; stilettos designed to impale a foot with the merest of pressure and were stuffed into a tiny tube dress that left nothing to the imagination. MY EYES! She looked like an exploding sausage. With a fringe and two black eyes...I think this was called make up. It really clashed against the green screen. Beyonce replied as she made ringing noises and picked up the phone.
"Are you going to tell me that concept for this telephone video or what?
I blinked. What the hell...this duet was her idea. I couldn't sing...I couldn't improve! What was she playing at? Then the music started. The strains of Lady Gaga's "Telephone" thrummed through the air and the words flew out of my mouth without consulting my poor hangover brain, as I threw myself as epileptically against the bars. *sing along to video on right-now
"Well... First of all this song was all of your idea.
And, I just wanted to get drunk and not Dance,
So you nab me and get me half naked,
And, stick everything on me,
But, the kitchen sink sink, the kitchen sink sink, what do you think think...
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The Emo, The Sparkly Vampire and the Biscuit.
Fanfiction"Your skin is... pale white, and ice cold. Your eyes change color... and sometimes you speak like - like you're from a different time. You never eat or drink anything; you don't go into the sunlight. I know what you are." "Go on, say it." "You're em...
