Letting it go

Untitled Story Part

"I'm falling in love with you" he said with a distance of mere centimeters between our faces. The warmth of his breath gently caressed my cold wet cheeks as i looked into his emerald eyes. His eyes so deep, the longer i looked into them the deeper i fell.

"Don't" i said looking away, as tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn't look into his eyes anymore. I was afraid of falling deeper Than i mistakenly have. But the truth is, i liked the way i fell, every time so pleasurably yet so sinfully. I  wanted to be with him and i wanted to say i love you too. But there was something stopping me, i do not know what that something was. I had no idea how to get pass that something. But deep down, i felt a peculiar kind of fear. 

He slowly lowered his gaze, tilting his neck. His soft lips gently brushing the corner of my ear. his musky scent filled the air in the most inviting manner as he whispered "it's too late"

Tears welled in my eyes, as the words rang in my mind like Christmas bells. A sharp pain rendered my heart weak at the unwanted flashback that kept occurring. It's a disease stronger than cancer eating me out. It's been two years now. And this was the most vivid memory I had of him. And perhaps the bracelet that loosely hangs around my wrist. As much as I would love to take it off and put it away, and forget everything that happened, start a new life. Start off fresh, this memory, this particular flash back, it keeps scratching the scar. Making it go deeper and more painful.

I still remember the day, when I received that phone call around midnight. The phone call that changed everything. I still remember feeling as if the whole world around me has crumbled and my velvet bed sheets felt like thorns penetrating through me.

I still remember, how It felt when the officer explained everything to me on the phone.

I still remember him walking away, and stopping in midst to turn around and shout 'see you soon' with a faint grin on his face. I knew how excited he was about finally getting to meet his mother after six whole years. And I also know how nervous he deep down was.

How can I forget, when the officer on the line explained to me how a random street robber just shot him dead in his car. How can I forget the way her mother mourned over the loss of her son.

How can I forget watching his father drop to the floor with His hands Clasped on his chest, after the incident was revealed before him.

But most probably how can I get rid of the scars it gave me. Scars so deep, that not even centuries could heal.

I wanted to go back and stop him from leaving. I wanted to say " I love you too". But perhaps now, it really is too late. And no matter how much I try to get all of this out of my mind. It won't. These regrets and memories are glued to my brain like a tumor. A painful incurable tumor.