Scream, I scream into the black of night
But no one hears me
They elect not to see because I am sick
And no one wants to be around that, its taboo.
The thing is, I am not contagious,
Mental illness is a disease you cannot catch, but that's not really a the issue.
The actual problem is that no one wants to be around the "crazy girl".
I can hear their whispers, at least I think I can,
It's hard to distinguish between those and the voices in my head.
Trust me, I'm not delusional, I know I'm crazy, better than anyone.
The demons in my head scream abuses, day and night.
Help me I cry, by my vocal chords cut out
No one wants to be away from me more than I do,
And yet, people still tell me to stop faking it
Or to just "Smile",
Like that's easy.
It's not easy.
It's all I can do to keep breathing.
Smiles remind me of being a child,
When smiling was required to keep my mother from worry.
I still play that game, every day
And I deal with the price I have to pay.
I don't like smiling.
At some point I did, when there were still a few things to smile about
But the list of people who can make me smile is down to two
And all I can say to those very special two is thank you.
And I love you.
But to the rest of the world, I say this
I'm done smiling.
I make no more apologies.
I'm already held back by the chains of my mind,
I refuse to be held by yours any longer.
