the diary of your darkest side

chapter 1

The diary of your darkest side

-It's dreadful enough to have enemies trying to empoison your life , and shatter your being to a million pieces , so imagine how arduous it can be if the antagonist of your story knows everything about you , your weaknesses , your pain , if he is YOU .

- Emma was a small town girl , perfect looking , kindest heart , sharpest mind , awesome boyfriend her life seemed to be working all well , living with her mother father and her twin little brothers , believing that nothing can stop her from living life to the limits ...

Emma's diary ; 13/1/2008

Today peter asked me out for my sweet sixteen's birthday and he is opening his application letter for police academy , I wish he gets in , it will full both our lives with joy ..

Emma's diary 13/6/2020

Peter did get in that day , it was a cheerful day , but it did not last long .. I used to hear them scream I'd close my ears but their desperate brutal voices still infiltrate my shaking hands , Mom has decided that cocain was more precious than her marriage life and her own children , she left that day on her daughter's sweet sixteen

-Emma' diary 14/1/2008

Yesterday was sure overwhelming, mom left but dad needs me and I will be there for him ..

She used to walk to her dad at night to find him in tears , he and her mother were not just a normal couple their story goes way back to 1982 when her mother Elizabeth was a badass rich girl who know no rules , but her recklessness lead her as predictable to a hospital where she met Emma's father Robert who was a nurse , the young girl was all over the place , hangover , broken a bone or two from climbing something in a moment of high , mumbling all kind of words , speaking her honest mind about how she appreciated his sky blue eyes when he leaned in to change her serum after she got better he asked her out , not so long after that the dates went on and on it transformed from a crush to a friendship to a strong bond of love to a dream of a life partnership , Robert all dressed up walked to her dad with flowers in his hands and hopes in his heart that he will be accepted as a part of the family , but he was not, her father described him as unfit socially to their daughter as any great love story running away is always a crucial part , they started all new in a small town penniless , but full of hope and love well at least from Robert's point of view as for Elizabeth when the high of love passed , her eyes only saw the poorness the mediocrity of her life , as if love was a barrier between her and the undesirable reality blinded her and tricked her to think she is stronger than she is , as if Robert was one of her dangerous stunts , before she knew it , she pregnant with Emma which made things worse for her not only that she had to live with a man , she no longer loves in a small unknown little city and little money BUT now she had responsibilities towards another human being , in light of everything drugs and hard parties were a tempting solution to Elizabeth she left her 3 years old baby and disappeared Emma was all fine with her dad that despite his pain gave her all the love and care she needed , her mother came back 14 months later with a 9 months baby bomb of the twins , crying and begging for forgiveness from her husband ... everything that happened pored some black spots in Emma's pure white heart

Emma's diary 15/9/2020

Everything about my birthday brought life back to that day when she came back I was young confused how is mom pregnant while dad was here with me , the taste of dad's tears are the same of that day same feeling of betrayal , pain , feeling left he wanted to punish her scream at her revenge but how could he , he loved her and so did she somewhere deep inside her bitter soul but she was just so weak to fight for him , his pain made my heart more dark , revived the darkest spirit in me , at least when she was pregnant he had the choice of leaving or not , that day she just left ...

Emma's diary 15/1/2008

I am scared ... dad is feeling worse but trying to take care of the twins like he did for me , likely now I have someone else who can take care of me peter came over as soon as he heard we talked for a long time then he hugged me to reinsure me that he will never leave me , that I will never suffer like dad , we starred at each other's eyes when our lips met slowly and passionately he held me to my bed and pushed my teddy bears away , it felt like he wasn't only pushing them but freeing me from a girl to a woman he kept kissing me getting lower and lower It felt like a hint of heaven , I woke up breathing heavily the next day on his chest I never wanted it to end but it did life has to go on he has to move out for college and I have to be there for my family , at least that's what I thought when I went down for breakfast dad had already made breakfast and sat us down , he allowed me to move on with peter , he said that I will get better high school education in a bigger town , but it was weird what dad allow his 16 years old to move out with a boy seemed like he was protecting me from something I can't go without knowing what it is but then looking at peter's eyes how can I resist him how can I say no , I love him so much , he wanted me out of that house too well , I guess it's for the best I will start packing ...

Emma's diary 20/9/2020

It wasn't as simple as I thought my life wasn't black but my rainbow missed few colours since dad was a mess and mom I honestly didn't care about her , I was suppose to meet up with peter in the train station , but suddenly I heard a voice of an engine then everything went black , found myself in a black van , it was like an action movie but more brutally they kept hitting me, after they folded my eyes , I kept screaming peter's name and dad's , no one replied it got scarier when they dropped me off in an old warehouse , it's where the little girl in me got really killed not by a night with peter but by the brutality violence and ugliness I lived , my problems seemed suddenly heaven in compare with that nightmare at least I had dad to protect me and a roof and bread on the table now I feel naked , literally and mentally , though mentally didn't matter that much , they stripped me down and hand coughed me to some metal bars it was January not so hot as you can imagine , they rapped me over and over again or just hit me I scream and scream and fight nothing works they gave me a weird soup a day , it's how I counted the days , they will force me to eat that shit

Soup bowl number 1

They brought it up , poured it all over my cold naked shameless body , then shoved it forcedly in my mouth or at least what's left of it I resisted , I didn't want to eat it I rathered die , I rathered cutting my own throaght but I couldn't even death wasn't an option , I cried my heart out

Soup bowl number 35

Now I am hungry I don't just let them shove the soup in me but I beg for it and the rapping it didn't bother me actually , it was starting to be a ritual , I didn't feel like a human no more I was dirty , smelly then I thought what would peter think of me , I never thought I would ever look a human being again , everything got foggy and confusing .

Soup bowl number 36

I started blacking out , they thought I was unconscious when I heard them saying that I was a hostage because mom stole drugs from them , then I lost consciousness for a long time , I opened my eyes to a bright light , felt on movement and heard mom's crying and peter's oice calling my name and felt dad's hand holding mine , woke up to find them all surrounding me but there was another old man turned out to be grandpa I have never met him before but he paid my ransom to prove my parents wrong ..