50 Reasons Why

Prologue

                  I read letter, after letter, after letter, after letter and so on. I've been to the meetings, after meetings, after meetings, after meetings and so on. I've listened to the lectures, after lectures, after lectures, after lectures and so on...

I read, listened and understood everything they threw at me. But where is that someone who is finally going to read what I want? Listen to what I deserve? Understand who I am and what I want to be?

There were two people who can come to mind, maybe.

My older brother could be one. He spoke freely around me. Well, now. He talks of his life, his sex life, his "love" life (if he had a love, then maybe that could count) and his feelings on life. I may grunt or respond with an occasional "hn". But I did listen, no matter how many times I've told him to shut up. I cared about him truly and he probably understands me the most. If I had a question, he would be the one I'd go to. Of course, he'd come to me actually since I never leave this dusty old office.

The second person is my older sister. She was stubborn, hard-headed most feminist woman I have ever met. I don't meet many women, or allow many to come into my life. I was born into hers, so I had to let her into mine. But I wouldn't want it any other way. She is kind, soft and a hopeless romantic. That's what I can tell from her, whether she admits it to herself or not. I caught her once with her hair down, instead of the usual quad ponytails. My brother mentioned something of her looking a lot like our mother that way. I wouldn't know, but if that's true. My mother was beautiful.

So Kankuro and Temari were the only two people I allowed myself to get overly close with. That was until a spiky blonde, knuckleheaded leaf shinobi knocked some sense into me (literally knocked it in to me).

Now I stand as the most powerful man of my village. People come to me for advice and I have no choice but to listen.

I'm the Fifth Kazekage. I am Sabaku No Gaara.

I am who people report to before they make actions. I am the one to "call the shots" before anything happens. It's a difficult job but I am very slowly making progress with these hot-headed old fashioned council men. I've even strengthened some bonds between our allied villages.

But even that's not enough for them. They want to see their precious Kazekage married. Apparently so does a few other countries.

I set down my third letter of a political marriage and closed my eyes. I sighed trying to relieve the stress and tension that happens to accompany me more than usual. I told the secretary that these letters are of less importance but yet, they manage to be sent in urgent mail.

It's not that I don't like the idea of marriage. I would just like to find my bride the modern way. By not having a letter sent to me with her profile and image. I tried to voice once what I wanted to my older brother, but I was at a loss for words. I have a major problem voicing my thoughts and opinions. Blame it on my way of upbringing or isolation as I call it.

I really do want to get married-when I'm ready. But I want to find a woman who I can fall in love with. I don't want some poor woman to have to wake-up with me in fear of the jinchuriki I use to be. I want someone who knows what Gaara likes and wants. Not what pleases the Kazekage or to keep from angering me. Is that so much to ask?

Even with myself no longer being a holder of Shukaku, I'm still looked and treated as I am. No one said this job would be easy. They definitely didn't mention the loads of paper work.

I sighed once more and opened my eyes to look at the next document on the stack. A letter from Konoha. My mouth twitched a bit as I remembered Naruto's free laugh.

Sakura Haruno. Where is that name from? Oh yes, the pink haired kunoichi. She was someone I didn't want to mess with. She kind of scares me. I've seen her fighting tactics. She has some incredible strength. The scariest woman though is Temari. Even though many people don't believe I have fear. Temari is one scary woman. Women in general frighten me. Kankuro told me that Temari is probably the scariest woman I'll meet. That brings me some relief, if I've already met the scariest then the rest should be... what does Kankuro call it? Ah, a 'piece of cake'. I'm very uneducated when it comes to women. Kankuro tries to teach me through his own experiences but Temari told me to listen to anything Kankuro says. I don't know why, some of the things he's mentioned seemed helpful. I sure won't listen to Temari when it comes to sex.

It's not that I haven't had sex before. Once my brother taught me more on the subject, I was curious to find out what was so grand about it. Temari comes back from the Leaf with a smirk on her face after seeing that Nara guy. Sometimes she comes back frustrated and that means something's happened but recently everything's been okay. Kankuro, always talks about his sexual encounters and he has a lot of them. No wonder he can't find love, he's too occupied with finding a –as he puts it- "a good fuck".

So some time when I was still struggling to become Kazekage, I decided to experience what sex was like. I finally found out what all the fuss was about. It was interesting and very pleasurable. I've kissed, I've made out and I've only had sexual intercourse. I haven't done any of the other things Kankuro's mentioned, such as oral, because I honestly didn't see the need to. Sex is just sex to me. That's how my brother views it as well. Temari tried to tell me us once that sex can also be known as making love. I still don't understand to this day how any of that can be even be close to something as precious as love...

So the Hokage agreed to send a leaf medic to take a look at our medical facility and they depart in two days. That was a relief. I knew we were very out dated on some things we held here. The council won't listen to me, so I knew Konoha would be here to help. Sending Haruno-san will be of greater help. She's been here before and the medics already know what to expect from her. Plus if I'm lucky, she may send Naruto to accompany her and I can 'catch up' with him. This would be easy, quick and sufficient. Something new for a change.

If only finding a way out of this arranged marriage was as easy as this. Wait a minute? I closed my eyes and my hands automatically crossed in front of my face. Habit, I guess. I remember Kankuro saying one thing. He did joke a few weeks back about something on the lines of me having a girlfriend would solve this problem. Of course, we both knew that was far from happening. I didn't even care about finding someone at a time like this. But, could I possibly ask Sakura to join in my scheme?

I know Kankuro and Temari would help me through it. They always do. I do have to go to the Leaf Village within almost a year for some meetings to come up. If I can talk to Sakura about my situation, maybe she will listen and help. I can also offer mission's pay.

That's it! Every day I surprise myself. I find myself thinking more and more like my older brother and it scares me. But this was a good idea. Kankuro will be surprised I thought of it.

I smirked as I signed the document in my hands. I stood up and looked at the cacti lined against the wall on top of a wooden shelf. I need to water them soon.

I left the office and made my way to the messenger hawks.

"Kazekage-sama." Zenma, the guard on duty, nodded towards me. I nodded back as I entered the room. Hawks were around in cages and I made my way towards the Konoha hawk. I placed the letter in the pouch and released it to fly.

The hawk flew into the pink sunset horizon. This would be easy. Haruno-san will come do the tour and retrieve the information needed. I'll let her be aware of my situation. If she agrees, which I'm sure she will with the help of Naruto, when I return to Konoha within a year's time; we can possibly pull of a 'relationship'. It will fool the council enough to buy me some time. That was all I needed.

In five days, my life will be made a lot easier.